Last year, my son entered middle school, and like any parent, I was filled with a mix of excitement and dread. I found myself preoccupied with concerns about puberty, social dynamics, and the pressures of increased academic demands. However, one issue that caught me completely off guard was the relentless emphasis on the honor roll.
From his very first week, my son’s school buzzed with discussions about this prestigious list. To earn a spot, he would need to maintain a 90 average, while a 95 average would secure him a spot on the coveted “Principal’s Honor Roll.” The school hallways were lined with names of past honor roll students, creating an almost competitive atmosphere among students and teachers alike.
I’ve always told my son that grades aren’t everything; what truly matters is the effort he puts into his education and his overall experience. Yet, he’s a naturally competitive kid, especially when it comes to challenging himself. Once he got wind of the honor roll, he became determined to achieve it, treating it like a game where he had to “win” a spot.
At first glance, this external motivation might seem beneficial. He maintained a 95 average throughout his first year and even got into the school’s magnet program due to his hard work. So, what’s the problem? The pressure of the honor roll turned into a source of anxiety for both of us. A slight dip in grades would send him into a tailspin of stress, losing sleep over his average and constantly checking grades online. He knew the exact numbers down to the decimal.
This fixation on grades was detrimental to his mental well-being, and I couldn’t stand it. Over the summer, we had long discussions about the importance of enjoying the learning process rather than fixating on grades. I tried to convey that mistakes are part of learning and that not making the honor roll could be just as valuable as making it. He wasn’t thrilled with that idea, but we kept talking.
After switching schools, my son’s focus on grades lessened significantly, which was a relief. However, the new school still had an honor roll, and the incentive was a pizza party. Naturally, my son wanted in, but he approached it with a healthier mindset.
When the time came for the new honor roll announcement, he ended up with all As except for one B+. No honor roll, no pizza party. At first, he was upset, but after a few days of brooding, he realized he could cope with the disappointment. This experience seemed to mellow his approach to grades, and I was relieved.
Despite his growth, I still have issues with the honor roll system. In his science class, the teacher read the names of the honor roll students aloud, adding to the pressure. Is it really necessary for schools to highlight such a narrow definition of success? We live in a time when students face unprecedented mental health challenges, much of which stems from academic pressure.
Why not recognize other forms of achievement? A shout-out for the student who worked hard for that B or the one who battles learning disabilities but shows up every day deserves acknowledgment too. The honor roll didn’t teach my son the value of learning or resilience; it only reinforced the idea that outcomes outweigh well-being.
That’s not a lesson I want my son—or any child—to internalize. For more perspectives on similar topics, check out this other blog post. Additionally, for more insights on academic pressures and mental health, visit this authority on the subject.
In summary, while the honor roll may seem like a harmless incentive, it can create an environment that prioritizes grades over genuine learning and well-being. Encouraging children to value their efforts and experiences rather than fixating on outcomes is crucial for their development.