Are you confused about your chardonnay versus your cabernet? While we gladly accept any wine offer, we wouldn’t exactly call ourselves experts. From Boone’s Farm to boxed white zin, and even the intriguingly labeled “Table Wine,” (is that a grape variety?), we’ve certainly enjoyed our fair share without bias.
In celebration of our collaboration with Sherry-Lehman, New York City’s premier source for exquisite wines and spirits, we’ve decided to elevate our wine knowledge with a crash course on what truly makes wine exceptional.
The Transformation of Grapes to Wine (Can I DIY at Home?)
Regrettably, stomping grapes in your kitchen won’t yield a glass of cabernet, no matter the size of your feet. Wine is crafted from specific grape varieties, not the grocery store kind. The process involves fermentation, extraction, and various bacterial actions to achieve a refined taste, which can take weeks or even decades depending on the wine type.
Nine Distinct Wine Varieties
Think red, white, and rosé are the only options? Think again! There are nine types of wine, each differing in grape variety, fermentation methods, and tannin levels:
- Sparkling Wine
- Light-Bodied White Wine
- Full-Bodied White Wine
- Aromatic (Sweet) White Wine
- Rosé Wine
- Light-Bodied Red Wine
- Medium-Bodied Red Wine
- Full-Bodied Red Wine
- Dessert Wine
The Allure of Red Wine
Is there anything more enchanting than sharing a glass of red wine on a balcony in France with your partner? We think not. Red wine derives its color from red or black grape skins, left intact during fermentation. The quality of grapes significantly influences the wine’s overall quality, so here’s hoping for a prime “terroir” (French for ideal growing conditions, including soil and climate).
Looking for a delightful red? Check out the “Finally In Bed” Red, a 2016 Côtes du Rhône blend featuring 80% grenache, 10% mourvèdre, and 10% syrah. It’s luscious, fresh, and mouthwatering, plus each bottle comes with a fun tote for your wine adventures.
White Wine Wonders
Contrary to common belief, white wine can also come from red grapes. However, it is fermented without the grape skins, resulting in a yellow tint. Dry whites are fully fermented, while sweeter varieties are produced when fermentation is halted early.
A favorite of ours is Sauvignon Blanc, known as the “beer of wines” for its easy-drinking style. The “It’s Gonna Be Alright” White from our shop features classic notes of gooseberry, passion fruit, figs, and a hint of herbaceousness – and who doesn’t need more herbaceousness?
The Joy of Rosé
Sipping rosé in the summertime makes us feel like glamorous characters from “Sex and the City,” even if we’re lounging in a kiddie pool with popsicle drips. Rosé gets its pink hue from brief skin contact with red grapes. Featured in our shop is the “Oh, Hey, BAE” Rosé from Domaine de Triennes, boasting aromas of strawberries and white flowers, with red fruit and citrus notes that elevate its complexity.
Sparkling Rosé for Special Moments
To add a little sparkle to your rosé, opt for a sparkling version. Often misnamed champagne, only those from the Champagne region of France can carry that title. Sparkling wines are infused with carbon dioxide, either naturally through fermentation or added later.
The “Just Tryna Get Through The Day” Sparkling Rosé in our shop is a Napa-style sparkler crafted from chardonnay and pinot noir. Sip it from a champagne flute or your favorite Home Insemination Kit mug for a little privacy.
Discover even more wines in our shop. Whatever your preference, remember to drink responsibly—after all, wait until the kids are truly testing your patience before pouring that glass.
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Summary
This guide offers a fun overview of wine types and highlights some favorites available in the Home Insemination Kit Shop. Whether you prefer red, white, or sparkling, remember to savor responsibly!