One of the most frequently joked about aspects of parenting is the shift in your intimate life after welcoming children. While your sexual adventures won’t completely vanish (let’s remain hopeful!), they undoubtedly undergo significant changes, and often not for the better—at least for a time.
Once you become a parent, even the most enthusiastic couples often find their romantic life taking a backseat. With sleepless nights, constant interruptions, and the ever-present reality of diaper duty, it’s no wonder that getting in the mood becomes a daunting task. Thankfully, the witty parents of Twitter are here to help you find humor in this relatable struggle.
1. That one memorable encounter… wow.
At least you can always reminisce about that one time you rocked the bedroom.
2. Different kinds of satisfaction.
For parents, savoring a bowl of chocolate cereal in solitude can feel as exhilarating as an earth-shattering climax.
3. Beyoncé, you’re our last option.
We might not always feel “Drunk in Love,” but sometimes we just crave a moment of peace.
4. The ultimate last-ditch effort.
When things get loud and chaotic, it’s all about making your move—no pressure, right?
5. All about the ambiance.
Setting the right mood is crucial, especially when you’re trying to avoid a toddler’s toys from becoming an obstacle.
6. Don’t even think about it.
Nothing kills the mood faster than a gritted “You better fold that laundry later.”
7. Sharp objects down, please.
He might not admit it, but he appreciates this brand of parenting advice.
8. Those socks, though.
True love means comfort, so he might even suggest keeping the socks on.
9. Nope, not those batteries.
Those batteries? They’re powering the noisy Fisher Price toys that keep your little one entertained.
10. Does that even count?
Sometimes, parents feel like two ships passing in the night—sometimes it’s more like two strangers at a crowded water park.
11. Nothing beats good planning.
Yes, darling, remind me again how we can avoid those rest stop bathrooms because of your foresight.
12. Just practical.
If you don’t take care of it now, it will sit in the washer until morning—no mom would judge you for that.
13. Getting creative.
By the time you reach “Valances: Aren’t These Nice?” he should be primed and ready.
14. That’s a hard no.
Let’s be real—once certain things happen, there’s no coming back from it. RIP, sex life.
This article originally appeared on July 28, 2016. For more on the journey of parenting and relationships, check out our other posts, including insights on home insemination kits, at Make a Mom. For expert advice on dietary needs during conception, visit Intracervical Insemination. For additional resources on fertility, Medical News Today is a great site to explore.
In summary, while parenting can certainly put a damper on your love life, it also brings about some hilarious and relatable moments. The witty observations from parents on Twitter remind us that we’re all in this together, navigating the ups and downs of intimacy after kids.