Last night was a challenging one. My youngest was under the weather, sniffling and coughing in bed beside me, while my older child was also battling a brutal cough. I found myself worrying that the cough might trigger an asthma episode, something both my children are susceptible to.
In the midst of this chaos, my mind was racing, consumed by an endless list of tasks. I suddenly remembered that my little one needed pants, and I mentally added it to my to-do list for the morning. Then there were the doctor’s appointments I needed to schedule and a plan I had to devise for helping my son cope with his homework anxiety, which was becoming increasingly troublesome.
As a result, I barely slept. After years of parenting, you’d think I’d be accustomed to sleepless nights, but the toll it takes on me is significant. Sleep deprivation exacerbates my anxiety disorder, messes with my IBS, and leaves me feeling utterly ineffective.
Come morning, both kids were still unwell, so I kept them home from school. This meant I had to juggle parenting and working from home while grappling with my own deteriorating mental and physical health. As I stumbled through breakfast preparations at 7 a.m., I realized that this scenario felt all too familiar. Although my children have grown and require less hands-on attention, their constant needs, combined with a myriad of additional responsibilities—like managing their school schedules and extracurricular activities—have made motherhood even more demanding.
This isn’t just my experience; it’s the reality of motherhood. We carry the burden of caring for everyone, often while feeling completely exhausted, as if the weight of our families’ lives rests solely on our shoulders.
Interestingly, recent studies highlight these struggles. Research published in the journal Sex Roles revealed that, despite men taking on more household chores, women still bear the brunt of managing family responsibilities, all while balancing their careers. For example, 90% of women reported being the primary organizers of their family’s schedules, and 70% identified themselves as the “family nags,” ensuring chores were completed. Many women also take on the role of “family therapist,” which contributes to feelings of overwhelming responsibility for their families’ happiness.
This immense pressure correlates with increased distress among mothers, leading to diminished satisfaction in life, relationships, and marriage. Additionally, many women expressed feeling utterly overwhelmed by parenting, leaving little to no time for self-care.
In another recent survey by Orlando Health, researchers focused on mothers in their “fourth trimester”—the first three months postpartum. They found a staggering 40% of new mothers experienced feelings of depression, anxiety, and being overwhelmed during this period. Although 63% of mothers were concerned about their own health post-birth, only 37% felt they had the time or resources to address it. Shockingly, one-third of women felt so embarrassed about their post-birth bodies that they avoided discussing their concerns with healthcare professionals.
This isn’t surprising. Many of us hesitate to voice our discomfort about lingering postpartum issues, and often, we assume we should just push through our mental health challenges.
We don’t need studies to tell us that modern motherhood—with its unrealistic expectations and relentless demands—takes a serious toll on our well-being. It’s time for experts and society as a whole to recognize this reality and work towards alleviating the burdens placed on mothers.
As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. To be the mother we aspire to be, we must prioritize our own needs. Seeking therapy, scheduling medical appointments, and openly discussing our struggles are essential steps.
Many of us are incredibly resilient, navigating this tumultuous journey while finding small ways to care for ourselves. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that we cannot do it alone. It truly takes a village—not just to support a child, but to nurture mothers as well. Unfortunately, many of us lack this support.
By sharing our experiences and encouraging more discussions among professionals, I hope that one day mothers will receive the same level of care and attention they provide to their families. It’s high time that happens.
For those interested in exploring options for family planning, check out this home insemination kit and learn more about fertility resources at Johns Hopkins. If infertility is a concern, you might find insights in this article on divorce and infertility.
Summary
Motherhood is often associated with overwhelming responsibilities that can severely impact a mother’s mental and physical health. Studies indicate that mothers juggle numerous tasks, leading to increased stress and decreased satisfaction. Many new mothers also report feeling depressed and anxious postpartum, yet lack the resources to seek help. As we recognize these challenges, it’s vital to prioritize self-care and support systems for mothers.