Updated: August 12, 2015
Originally Published: December 4, 2014
In 2012, a thought-provoking article appeared in a prominent newspaper, posing the question, “Do Women Enjoy Child Care More Than Men?” The conclusion drawn was that women do, based on a study by researchers David and Lisa Green, which surveyed a limited group of 185 assistant professors with children under two. The focus on child care tasks may have led to biased responses, as participants were likely aware of the study’s intentions, and the questions were rather vague.
While the Greens acknowledged the limitations of their research, the article asserted that mothers simply prefer child care over fathers, attributing this disparity to biological factors. However, their findings overlooked the nuanced emotions involved in child-rearing tasks. Many mothers might express, “I adore caring for my children, but I dread the struggle to get them into their car seats,” or “I cherish my kids but not the tantrums during grocery shopping.” It appeared that fathers were more inclined than mothers to differentiate between their feelings toward their children and the specific tasks associated with their care, resulting in lower satisfaction ratings. Dr. Emma Blake noted, “Child-care responsibilities can be intertwined with our emotions toward our children, and men appeared better at separating their feelings about particular tasks from their overall feelings.”
Fortunately, further research by Blake and her colleague, Dr. Rachel Adams, indicated that both mothers and fathers derive significant joy from caring for their children, especially in activities like playing and engaging in conversation.
This finding is crucial. The stereotype that “Women enjoy taking care of children” is so ingrained that it often goes unquestioned, leading to cultural assumptions that mothers should be the primary caregivers because of their perceived enjoyment. This notion also has economic repercussions, as it perpetuates the expectation that women shoulder the load of unpaid labor, which can undermine their financial independence. Dr. Blake observed that even her first-year students at university believed that child-rearing responsibilities primarily fall to mothers, with fathers’ involvement seen as optional. “It’s a deeply rooted idea that we love child care, and that we ‘choose’ to be the primary caregivers,” she stated.
Women often take more career breaks to tend to children and elderly relatives, which has financial implications. They also tend to outlive men, which can contribute to financial insecurity during retirement. The research by Blake and Adams emphasizes the need to dismiss the notion that women engage in caregiving simply because they enjoy it more than men; fathers are equally capable and willing to participate.
An equally noteworthy finding from their research highlighted that women experience significantly higher levels of fatigue and stress regarding child care. Women dedicate an average of 127 minutes daily to child care, compared to men’s 95 minutes, and spend 111 minutes on household chores such as cleaning and meal prep, while men spend only 45 minutes. Interestingly, men work nearly two hours more each day than women, yet both genders report similar satisfaction levels regarding their jobs. However, women report higher fatigue levels.
When I inquired about the reasons behind this stress and exhaustion, Dr. Blake clarified that women in their study actually averaged half an hour more sleep than men. She proposed a few possible explanations: women may be more susceptible to depression, or their sleep could be frequently disrupted by children. However, the most likely cause is multitasking. Dr. Blake suggested that women might be more prone to combining tasks, which can lead to increased stress. “Women tend to manage more activities throughout the day for shorter periods than men do. The cognitive shift required to switch tasks can be draining,” she explained.
This resonates with my own experience; it’s not solely the child care that drains me, but the multitude of other responsibilities that compound the stress. I enjoy spending time with my kids, but I often feel like I’m playing a constant game of Tetris, trying to manage errands and household chores simultaneously. For instance, while I’m changing a diaper, I might also be contemplating dinner plans or dealing with a sibling dispute over a toy. Even though I work fewer hours than my partner, the volume of tasks I juggle feels overwhelming. The cognitive and emotional burden is what truly exhausts me.
Dr. Blake emphasizes, “It’s essential to recognize that it’s not just about women having a preference for children. The findings regarding stress and fatigue are critical. Women are more stressed and fatigued than men.”
On a positive note, everyone enjoys caring for children, and research shows women enjoy an average of 12 minutes a day of “alone time,” which is four minutes more than men. If we could extend that to half an hour, perhaps we could all benefit from a much-needed nap.
This article originally appeared on December 4, 2014.