Moving is universally recognized as a challenging experience, regardless of one’s life stage. The process of decluttering your home—wondering how you accumulated so many belongings—sorting through items, packing boxes, and running out of tape is just the beginning. There’s the struggle of wrapping fragile items in whatever is available, followed by the physical labor of lifting, carrying, and navigating through a whirlwind of stress that leaves you with sore muscles and unfortunate accidents. Cleaning up your previous residence is another task, and then you face the lengthy journey of adapting to a new environment. It’s a tiring ordeal. However, moving with children, particularly school-aged ones, introduces a new layer of complexity, as you carry not just your possessions but also the weight of parental guilt and anxiety.
When my partner received an offer for his dream job in a city seven hours away, we felt compelled to accept. Yet, from that moment, I was plagued by worries about how our decision would impact our children. I envisioned them struggling to adapt, feeling lonely, and possibly growing up to blame us for their unhappiness. The thought was unbearable—after all, they had no say in the matter.
The choice to relocate was ultimately made by the adults—my partner and I. It felt different than the usual commands I give my children, like “brush your teeth” or “eat your veggies.” This was a significant life change, and it was tough to accept that their voices didn’t factor into such a major decision.
They had to leave their school. I still remember my first visit to Lincoln Elementary as a nervous parent dropping off my kindergartener. Years later, I found myself saying goodbye to the dedicated teachers and staff who had nurtured my children. These were individuals who had been a part of our lives for years, understanding my children’s quirks and needs. What if their new school didn’t offer the same level of acceptance?
They also had to leave their friends. While I might not have adored every single one of their companions—like the kid who once caused a scene in our backyard—these were the friends my kids had chosen. They shared countless adventures and memories, and uprooting them meant taking them away from their bonds, thrusting them into a world where they knew no one.
Our neighborhood was a supportive community; we had trustworthy neighbors who looked out for my children. They were familiar with every nook and cranny, and I worried about what awaited us in our new area. What if our new neighbors were unfriendly?
Leaving our home was perhaps the hardest part. My eldest was just two years old when we moved into our first house, and my other children had never lived anywhere else. This house was their sanctuary, a place they could navigate even with their eyes closed. The thought of them waking up in an unfamiliar space was daunting.
Ultimately, the relocation unfolded more smoothly than I had anticipated. My fears turned out to be exaggerated, and my children adjusted remarkably well. They surprised me with their resilience. We met their new teachers and toured the new school, which helped ease the transition. Connecting with neighbors and using technology allowed them to maintain ties with old friends. They found joy in exploring our new home and backyard, and we quickly engaged with the community, including the local library’s programs for kids.
Of course, they miss our old neighborhood—so do I—but with time, we’ll craft new memories here. After all, our previous home was once new to us too.
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Summary
Relocating as a family can be fraught with parental guilt, especially when children are involved. The author reflects on the emotional turmoil of moving, including concerns about new schools, friends, neighborhoods, and homes. Ultimately, the transition proves easier than expected, highlighting children’s resilience and the importance of nurturing new connections.