Welcome to Toddler Society, where the rules are clear, and we are not on the guest list.
- First Rule of Toddler Society – Discussion about Toddler Society is strictly prohibited.
- Second Rule of Toddler Society – No conversations about Toddler Society allowed.
- Third Rule of Toddler Society – Stage a protest when it’s time for a bath. Once in, change your mind and protest leaving the bath.
- Fourth Rule of Toddler Society – If queried, your answer is always “no.” The sole exception is if you’re asked, “Would you like a treat?”
- Fifth Rule of Toddler Society – Avoid going to bed at all costs. Ask questions. Pose ten questions. Request water. Claim you need to use the potty. Demand a tissue, a story, a fresh pillow, new pajamas, or a back rub. Just Never. Go. To. Bed.
- Sixth Rule of Toddler Society – If your younger sibling is crying, make sure to cry even louder to create maximum chaos in the household.
- Seventh Rule of Toddler Society – If pasta is served, request pizza. If granted, immediately switch back to requesting pasta.
- Eighth Rule of Toddler Society – Under no circumstances should you wear any clothing when asked only once.
- Ninth Rule of Toddler Society – Dinner is breakfast, and breakfast is dinner. Don’t be deceived.
- Tenth Rule of Toddler Society – If mom says no, consult dad. If he also declines, inform mom that dad gave you the green light.
- Eleventh Rule of Toddler Society – Don’t worry about getting all your food into your mouth. Your clothes are hungry too.
- Twelfth Rule of Toddler Society – Steer clear of anything with a crust. Rinds are not allies.
In solidarity,
Toddler Governance
For more insights into the journey of parenting, check out our article on couples’ fertility journeys. Also, if you’re curious about personal experiences related to pregnancy, this story on 8.5 years of trying can provide valuable perspectives. Moreover, for comprehensive information on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource at the NICHD.
Summary: The rules of Toddler Society are both amusing and chaotic, reflecting the realities of parenting toddlers. From their refusal to go to bed to their unpredictable food requests, the guidelines offer a humorous insight into the toddler experience, reminding parents that navigating this stage is a unique adventure.