Five years ago, I found myself sitting on my therapist’s couch, feeling utterly overwhelmed. “I’m treading water, doing everything I can, but I can’t seem to stay afloat,” I confided. At that time, I was managing four children enrolled in four different schools, which resulted in a whirlwind of back-to-school nights, parent-teacher meetings, and a chaotic schedule of drop-offs and pick-ups. To top it off, I had recently embarked on a full-time remote job while navigating a very challenging divorce.
I must have looked a bit frantic, dressed in yoga pants and clutching a throw pillow as I shared my struggles. My therapist, with her calming demeanor, suggested I create a chart illustrating how my life would evolve over the next five years. “You’ll see that things will become significantly easier,” she assured me.
Taking her advice, I went home and drafted that chart. To my surprise, I realized that in five years, one child would be heading off to college, followed by another the next year. My third child would transition to high school, and my youngest would finally be in middle school, just a short walk from home. By then, I’d have three kids with driver’s licenses, and my youngest would be nearly 12. On paper, it looked promising, albeit distant.
Fast forward to today, and I find myself in that very moment I once envisioned—life has become surprisingly manageable, almost too manageable. Last night, I didn’t even need to cook dinner. My daughter, now a senior, is often out working or spending time with friends, while my youngest is busy with sports. Most days, it’s just me and my cat at home.
Reflecting on the past, I am astonished by how much has changed. Back then, I was working grueling 60-hour weeks, balancing college applications, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, laundry, and comforting one of my children who was having a particularly tough time. Now, I find myself sipping wine and binge-watching shows instead of preparing meals.
But here’s the twist: the future looks daunting again. In just five years, my only companion in need might be the cat, assuming she’s still with us. I’ll have three college graduates (fingers crossed), and my youngest will be a junior in high school, driving on his own. Even more astonishing, my eldest will be turning 27. That’s mind-boggling.
Unlike five years ago, when I welcomed the thought of an easier life, I now feel a pang of sadness looking at how quickly my children are growing up. I don’t necessarily want to revisit the chaos of having three teenagers at home, but I do miss the days when my life felt endlessly filled with their needs. I used to wipe faces and drive them everywhere, and now it all seems to have vanished in the blink of an eye.
To all the moms out there, I understand your frustrations. I know how it feels when your kids push back against bedtime or label you the “worst mom ever.” You might wish for the day they grow up and leave the nest, but trust me, there will come a time when you’ll long for those little nuisances, wishing for just one more trip to Toys R Us or Game Stop. You’ll miss the hours spent in the kitchen making meals they’ll inevitably declare inedible. You really will—just like I do.
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In summary, parenting is a whirlwind experience filled with ups and downs. As time flies, it’s important to cherish each moment, both the challenging and the joyful, for they all contribute to the unique journey of motherhood.