I believe the secret to thriving in motherhood and marriage lies in surrounding yourself with a few exceptional, fierce friends. I affectionately call them my soul sisters because they understand me and embrace me without judgment. They are my emotional backbone, my sanity, and my heart. These incredible women are anything but ordinary; I have no time for mediocrity. I need strong, no-nonsense allies, especially since life can be incredibly challenging.
Many of your closest friends likely came into your life before you became a mother, witnessing your journey through your darkest days and celebrating how far you’ve come. My friends are just as astonished as I am that I’ve managed to avoid drowning in chaos and can (somewhat) function as a responsible adult—okay, I’m still trying to run a household. You may have also formed some meaningful connections after becoming a mom.
Each of these women brings something unique to the table, continually inspiring me and keeping me grounded. They are my anchor during moments of madness—of which there are plenty. They serve as my guide when I feel lost and help me be a better person and parent.
While our partners are wonderful, let’s face it: they often can’t grasp the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in our minds. It’s not their fault; they simply don’t share our perspective. That’s where our soul sisters come in. They come from various backgrounds, but what unites them is their unwavering commitment to our well-being. These friendships are solid and enduring, built on a foundation of support and love.
When a crisis hits, they are the first to answer your 911 call, whether it’s a text or a frantic phone call. They’ll be at your door with wine in hand, ready to tackle whatever madness life throws your way. To them, 5 o’clock is just a suggestion; they know when it’s time to pour a drink and help you deconstruct your problems into manageable pieces. They’ve got your back, always ready to defend you—even if it means dealing with someone who crosses you.
These friends aren’t afraid to hold you accountable. While they may tread carefully at first, they know how to ask the right questions that force you to examine your version of events. They’ll gently challenge you with inquiries like, “Are you sure it unfolded that way?” or “Did you perhaps contribute to the situation?” Once they help you drop your defenses and see the situation clearly, they’ll work with you to find solutions. Soul sisters want nothing more than for you to be the best version of yourself, even if their feedback stings a little at first.
They also become like aunts to your children, showering them with love almost as if they were their own. They willingly babysit, spoil your kids with thoughtful gifts, and spend countless hours troubleshooting any issues your child may face. They are your greatest allies and will even research medical advice or reach out to experts when necessary. If they don’t have the answer, they’ll find someone who does, checking in time and again to make sure you’re alright. Your kids’ struggles are their struggles, and they never shy away from helping.
These women truly champion your marriage, too. Instead of indulging in gossip when you and your partner are at odds, they remind you of the reasons you fell in love and the joy your spouse brings to your life. They’re there to help you return to the core of your relationship, never fanning the flames of discontent further. When you’re at fault, they’ll be honest with you and encourage you to make amends. You might feel annoyed at their candidness, but deep down, you know they care about both you and your partner’s happiness.
Soul sisters have a knack for sensing when you need space. They understand when to be a source of positivity and when to just let you vent. Sometimes, words aren’t necessary; they can read your mood like a book. They know when to let you express your frustrations and when to step in with encouragement.
I recall a particularly tough time postpartum when I avoided my best friend, Megan, for nearly a month. When I finally connected with her, she didn’t bombard me with questions or demand explanations. Instead, she simply said, “I just wanted to hear your voice.” Her presence was all I needed—no detailed discussions required. She allowed me the space to be myself, even when I felt lost.
No matter the setting—whether you’re lounging on a beach or stuck at home without power—you and your soul sisters will always find a way to enjoy each other’s company. You’ll share laughter over the smallest things and concoct the most whimsical plans. You’ll confide in one another about your dreams and, at times, enjoy comfortable silence together. They accept you wholly, flaws and all.
I hope every woman finds her own soul sisters who enrich her life. I know that without the unwavering support and affectionate nudges from these friends during my challenges, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Having someone walk alongside you in friendship, even during your lowest moments, is a treasure. Cherish these remarkable women, and don’t hesitate to reach out—pour yourself a glass of wine and let them know how much they mean to you.
For more insights on motherhood and resources for home insemination, check out Make a Mom. If you’re seeking expert advice, Dr. Jamie Carter is a trusted authority on the subject, and you can find her insights here. Additionally, the Women’s Health website is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Having strong, supportive friends during motherhood is invaluable. These soul sisters provide emotional support, accountability, and a sense of camaraderie, helping navigate the challenges of parenting and marriage. They are there for you in times of need and celebrate life’s joys, always encouraging you to be your best self.