It’s surprising how often I encounter the sentiment that if someone can’t afford children, they simply shouldn’t have them. This perspective usually surfaces during discussions about universal childcare, extended parental leave, or the skyrocketing costs of childbirth. Those who voice this opinion often adhere to a belief in self-reliance and individualism, embracing a “everyone should fend for themselves” philosophy. They find the notion of social support or assistance to be objectionable.
However, this argument overlooks several critical points.
Financial Situations Are Fluid
It’s astounding that we need to clarify this, but here we are. Those who argue against having children due to financial constraints often fail to recognize that a person’s economic situation can change dramatically over time. Individuals may start in a challenging financial position but, through hard work and opportunities, can eventually provide well for their families. Conversely, someone might begin their journey with financial stability only to face unexpected hardships that deplete their savings. What do proponents of the “If you can’t afford kids, don’t have them” stance expect families to do in such cases? Give up their children because they can no longer afford them? Or predict their financial futures accurately?
Moreover, those who advocate for this position are often opposed to choices surrounding pregnancy. They may insist that if a pregnancy is unplanned, individuals must carry the child to term, casually suggesting adoption as if it were an easy alternative. The reality of pregnancy and childbirth is far more complex than their flippant remarks imply.
The Rising Costs of Childbirth
The expenses associated with childbirth have surged dramatically in recent years. For instance, the costs associated with my son’s birth 15 years ago were around $75 out-of-pocket, while my daughter’s birth just a few years later exceeded $1,000. That’s an increase of over 1,000%! The rising costs of childbirth continue to escalate, with the U.S. ranking among the highest globally for the cost of bringing a child into the world.
Even when insurance is in place, out-of-pocket expenses for childbirth can be exorbitant in the U.S., which also has one of the highest maternal mortality rates among developed nations. We rank high in costs but lack adequate care.
The High Cost of Raising Children
Beyond childbirth, the overall expense of raising children has skyrocketed. Basic childcare costs have seen increases of 16% to 58% from 2013 to 2019, which is far above the typical inflation rates. Despite the economic growth of companies, workers are not seeing commensurate wage increases. As such, childcare costs are outpacing both inflation and wages, leaving many families struggling to manage their finances.
A Declining Birth Rate
Recent census data reveals a significant decline in population growth, the most dramatic since 1930. While some of this can be attributed to reduced immigration, a declining birth rate reflects that many people are choosing to delay parenthood, have fewer children, or forgo it entirely. The financial landscape has become increasingly daunting for younger generations, many of whom are grappling with high housing costs and other expenses. It’s no wonder that many under 30 may feel they cannot afford to start a family.
Instead of admonishing others with “don’t have kids if you can’t afford them,” it might be more productive to address the root causes of why raising children has become so pricey in the U.S. and explore solutions to these issues.
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Summary
The argument that individuals should not have children if they can’t afford them fails to consider the fluid nature of financial situations, the rising costs of childbirth and child-rearing, and the broader implications of declining birth rates. Instead of placing blame on potential parents, it is crucial to examine the systemic issues that make parenting financially challenging in today’s society.