1. Denial
Oh no. Is that a tickle in my throat? No way, it can’t be. I’ve been nursing my husband back to health for a week, keeping him confined to our bedroom while I’ve taken the couch like the dedicated caregiver I am. Hand sanitizer is stocked in every room, and I’ve been using it without fail. I’ve also maintained a healthy diet, stayed hydrated, taken my vitamins, and enjoyed restful sleep. I’m a picture of health. There’s no chance I’m catching this cold.
2. Anger
I’m furious with my husband for passing this cold to me. After a week of fussing over that germ-infested creature, this is how I’m repaid? My throat feels raw, my eyes are watering, and with the little energy I have left, I’m having to instruct him how to boil water for my tea. I’m also incredibly frustrated with myself, as I can’t care for my little one or manage anything around the house, not to mention I can’t even binge-watch my favorite shows. It’s infuriating. Claire Underwood would never let a cold get the best of her — she’d still look fabulous in her La Perla pajamas.
3. Bargaining
Please, please don’t let my toddler catch this. There can only be one whiny child in this house right now, and it’s me! If I can keep my son from getting sick, I promise to tackle all the household chores I’ve been avoiding. Cleaning the fridge sounds appealing compared to managing a sick child when I’m feeling miserable — although, in this state, chasing after an energetic toddler is equally daunting.
4. Depression
I will never enjoy the simple pleasure of breathing through my nose again. I think my sinuses are about to explode. My mother calls, suggesting that my illness is due to inadequate use of hand sanitizer. I’m too exhausted to argue. The days drag on, filled with endless episodes of children’s shows. The nights are long and filled with what I like to call “productive” coughing.
5. Acceptance
I’ve gone three days without a shower, surviving solely on applesauce and Whole Foods chicken soup with a generous splash of sriracha. My husband looks at me in horror as I stumble around in a state of dishevelment. Oddly enough, I don’t even care that he’s been living off McDonald’s all week, nor that my toddler is now chewing on crayons. At least they have their appetites. Despite everything, I hold on to a glimmer of hope that one day I’ll recover from this and might even find humor in the experience. Maybe I’ll even write about it. But that day is not today. Right now, I’m surrendering. I’m lying back on my bed of used tissues, closing my eyes, and calling upon NyQuil to rescue me.
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Summary
Catching a cold can be a journey through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance. This humorous take illustrates the struggles faced when illness strikes, especially while managing family responsibilities. Despite the challenges, there remains a flicker of hope for recovery and the possibility of looking back on the experience with a smile.