For parents with multiple children, navigating your feelings towards each one can often feel like walking a tightrope. Society tells us that we shouldn’t have favorites, and as parents, we’re expected to profess equal love for all our kids. If someone challenges you, you might claim that while your love is equal, it’s also distinctly different. Beyond that, it’s best to keep quiet—discussing favorites is as taboo as politics or religion in polite conversation.
However, societal expectations don’t dictate my personal feelings, and I must confess: I do have a favorite. With six children ranging from ages 2 to 13, my “favorite” changes depending on who is currently being the least demanding or troublesome.
Sometimes it’s my daughter who, without being asked, wipes her baby sister’s nose. Other times, it’s my son, whose charming smile and fluttering eyelashes might have me agreeing to a cuddling session. Occasionally, it’s my teenager, who, after a long day, surprises me by sharing an amusing story instead of retreating to her room. Just when I think I’ve found my favorite, everything can shift in an instant.
That sweet daughter may soon let out a loud fart right in her brother’s face, igniting chaos just before bedtime when I’m already at my wit’s end. Or my son might bluntly tell me my breath smells terrible during our snuggle time (thanks, buddy). And as I try to escape to the bathroom for a moment of peace while painting my toenails, my teenager could roll her eyes at a simple request. Kids threatening to stab me with their eyes? Definitely not my favorites.
While I love them all dearly, I also cherish peace and moments of quiet. I appreciate the kindness and spontaneity that occasionally shines through. I prefer when they call my name once instead of repeatedly—seriously, I know you’re talking to me!
It’s a game of least resistance, really. The child who is currently making my life easier wins the elusive “Five Minute Golden Child Award,” a title that lasts only until the next tantrum or outburst. Ironically, they all rotate through this title without realizing it, avoiding the bitter competition and sibling rivalry that often plague families.
When one of them innocently asks, “Am I your favorite, Mom?” I respond honestly, “Not at this moment… but keep trying!”
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In summary, while we may try to love all our children equally, the reality is that our favorites can change throughout the day based on their behavior. The “Five Minute Golden Child Award” keeps things light, fostering an environment where competition doesn’t become a factor.