In our home, my partner Jake and I rely on a single-serve coffee maker that uses those convenient little pods. While they’re undoubtedly not eco-friendly and come with their own set of drawbacks, we haven’t settled on an alternative coffee maker. As a result, we find ourselves defaulting to this machine each morning, simply too fatigued to make another decision. So, we push the button day after day, thankful for one less choice to grapple with.
This exhaustion became all too apparent the other morning when I attempted to brew a cup of coffee. All I had to do was push a button—something even a monkey could manage. Yet, in my haze, I neglected to place the coffee cup correctly, resulting in a mess of coffee spilling everywhere except into my mug. A clear sign of my mental fatigue.
For years, I’ve pointed to my young children as the root of my tiredness. From runny noses to restless nights, early wake-up calls and tiny feet in my ribs at the crack of dawn have certainly drained me physically. However, there’s a distinct mental weariness tied to my everyday experiences as a mother that I have only recently begun to articulate. This phenomenon, often referred to as “decision fatigue,” has been weighing heavily on me.
As a recent article from Elite Daily explains, decision fatigue is a psychological state where the quality of our decisions deteriorates after a long session of decision-making. Even minor choices can accumulate to the point of overwhelming me. I’m left short-circuiting and forgetting the simplest tasks, like remembering the name of the coffee maker.
The article mentions that prominent figures, like President Obama, often wear the same outfit each day to conserve mental energy for more significant decisions. This resonates with me deeply. When my mind is cluttered with countless trivial choices—like what coffee maker to buy—I can’t help but wonder how I’ll make room for the more important decisions required of a family leader. It’s exhausting to be preoccupied with the small stuff, leaving me drained when it comes to nurturing my children’s emotional and moral growth.
A Morning of Chaos
Most mornings unfold in chaos, filled with the sounds of coos, cries, and the patter of little feet, followed by a barrage of questions:
- 5:59 AM: Can I play video games?
- 6:02 AM: What does the baby need?
- 6:03 AM: Where are my toys?
- 6:12 AM: Can I play video games again?
- 6:15 AM: Do I have school today?
- 6:22 AM: Can I play video games?
- 6:29 AM: Did I brush my teeth yet?
- 6:30 AM: Can I play video games?
- 6:37 AM: Baby again – did I change her diaper?
- 6:45 AM: When is breakfast?
- 6:46 AM: What’s for breakfast?
- 6:49 AM: What are our plans today?
- 6:51 AM: What’s the weather?
- 6:53 AM: Where are my shoes?
- 6:54 AM: Where’s my coat?
- 6:59 AM: Why isn’t the game working?
In the first hour of the day, I find myself making decisions for four people every few minutes, leaving little time for basic self-care like using the restroom, getting dressed, or turning on the coffee maker. I’m losing precious moments to overwhelming minutiae, and I realize how badly I need to simplify my life.
I think about my own “mom uniform,” which represents simplicity—a way to reduce choices. Yoga pants and comfortable clothing make sense in the context of decision fatigue. However, more than clothing, I wish I could shield myself from my children’s incessant questions, bouncing off me like rubber. My role isn’t to make all their choices but to guide them in making their own decisions.
In these teachable moments, I often realize I’m learning just as much as they are. I make the most pivotal decision of my day: to love and support them enough to let them navigate their own path. I encourage them to find their own answers, whether that’s locating pajamas or figuring out what snack they’d like.
In the spirit of the season, we’re embracing traditions like making latkes and creating memories together. I’ve saved enough energy for that, and it feels rewarding. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this insightful post on artificial insemination kits. For those seeking resources on fertility challenges, this site offers excellent information. You can also find a wealth of knowledge on related events at this link.
In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with countless small decisions that can lead to significant mental fatigue. By recognizing this, we can better navigate the chaos and focus on nurturing our families while empowering our children to make choices for themselves.