I promise I was just going to give it a try. I had no plans to become addicted, but one little taste and I was hooked. You know that song by The Killers? Well, it felt a bit like that — it all began with a dress. How did it come to this? Just a dress. Just a dress.
Now, it’s turned into a full-blown obsession. Here’s how it all began.
I was chatting with a friend about finding a dress for my daughter’s school photos. I had an idea in mind but didn’t want to spend a fortune on something I knew she’d wear only a few times. She suggested I check out Facebook for a “B/S/T” group.
A what? A buy, sell, trade page. This is where people in your circle trade items — anything from clothes and shoes to toys. Whatever you’re looking for, there’s likely a BST for it. I searched for the brand I wanted and found multiple buy, sell, and trade pages. There were groups for adults, kids, specific sizes, and even budget-friendly finds under $50. I clicked “join,” not realizing that was the moment things would spiral out of control.
Once I was accepted, I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I began reading the group rules; every group has its own set of guidelines, and trust me, you don’t want to break them. Doing so could lead to public shaming — super embarrassing — or even getting muted for a day. Worst case? You could get kicked out. I was terrified but determined to find a dress!
Shopping on these pages is straightforward. Sellers post pictures — often collages — of what they’re offering on “the boards,” a fancy term for the group pages. In the comments, they list items with details on size and condition. And oh, the conditions! They’re essentially a new language. Here are a few key terms:
- NWT – New With Tags
- NWOT – New Without Tags
- EUC – Excellent Used Condition
- VGUC – Very Good Used Condition
- GUC – Good Used Condition
- Play – OK Condition, well-loved
- ISO – In Search Of; you post your specific wants
- DOND – Deal or No Deal; you negotiate a price based on their offer
Once you’ve mastered these terms, you’re good to go. When you see something you like, you comment with your PayPal email. The first to comment gets the item, which seems fair enough. But be careful — once you comment, it’s a binding contract to pay. No backing out! And whatever you do, don’t “DD” (dirty delete) your comment, thinking no one will notice. They always notice. There’s a savvy detective out there capturing screenshots before you can type “sold.” If you try to disappear, you’ll face the wrath of group members.
So, you’re committed — no backing out. Next, you need to pay the invoice quickly; if you don’t, you risk being publicly roasted, and you might even get kicked out. If you’re selling, ship the item promptly or face a nasty shoutout.
If you ghost someone, you might end up in the dreaded “buyer beware” group. You definitely don’t want your name associated with that. It’s like public shaming, where anyone you’ve dealt with can air your dirty laundry. Your profile gets linked, and soon, people will block you, making it impossible to buy or sell again. It’s akin to being shunned from a close-knit community. Most of the time, if you end up in the “BB,” you probably deserve it. But if it’s a mistake, you better have a great defense because the jury is tough!
Got it? Good. Now you’re ready to explore the boards and make a purchase. Grab your Diet Coke, start a Netflix true-crime documentary, and dive in. I’m particularly drawn to the designs and prints of a certain brand, and I’m obsessed with their pages. Some prints are seasonal and considered “unicorns,” while others are the Holy Grail of finds that can command a high price.
Sometimes I’ll browse posts and buy something that catches my eye, but that can get boring. If you want the real gems, you need to be ready for a live purge. This is when a member sells multiple items in rapid succession, and my adrenaline kicks in. I’ll type “sold” and my email, then copy it so I can paste it quickly when I see something I want. My palms get sweaty and my heart races as I anticipate the next item. I’ll often make impulsive purchases without even considering the price, which I’ll probably have to explain later when someone asks, “Why do you need another romper that looks just like the five in your closet?” Well, that’s none of your business, so let’s move on.
The atmosphere can get intense. These buy, sell, trade groups often have sister chat groups where members share pictures of themselves in their finds, ask for opinions on sizes and colors, or show off their matching outfits with their kids. It’s a supportive environment where women build each other up, united by their love for shopping on Facebook. They’re always ready, PayPal at the ready. It’s a chaotic yet comforting sisterhood that I absolutely love.
I’m BSTing daily. While I don’t buy things every day, I’m certainly always on the lookout. I’ve even started selling items myself and have been surprised at how quickly they sell. There are thousands of women just like me, glued to their phones, waiting for that perfect top to pop up. I sometimes have to lie about what I’m doing when I should be cooking dinner. “What are you doing?” “Oh, just wrapping up some work.” Which really means, “Waiting for the dress I saw in the collage to appear in the purge. Hold your horses!”
I’m not limited to clothing groups. I’m also part of a doll group that can get pretty intense. And don’t even get me started on the beach bag enthusiasts. The amounts of money these women spend on bags made from Crocs is mind-boggling. But I fell for it too, and now I own one. It’s like I have “Hi, I’m Jamie, and I’m an impulsive buyer. If I think I need it, I’ll buy it without a second thought” tattooed on my forehead.
I bought my daughter her dress on my very first night exploring these groups. That was two years ago, and I’ve been hooked ever since.
I can’t remember life before joining buy, sell, trade groups, nor do I want to. I find more joy scrolling through my phone at 1 a.m., hunting for a NWT dress at 50% off retail than I ever did shopping for clothes at a regular store. The thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction of a great find keep me coming back.
I should probably come up with a clever conclusion, but honestly, I don’t have time for that. There’s a hot purge happening right now with several items I’ve got my eye on.
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Summary:
The article discusses the author’s journey into the world of Facebook buy, sell, trade (B/S/T) groups, highlighting the excitement and community that comes with it. After initially seeking a dress for her daughter, she finds herself immersed in these groups, learning the lingo and rules, and experiencing the thrill of live purges and quick purchases. The piece captures the obsession and camaraderie among women who share a passion for shopping and offers a glimpse into the unique culture of online trading communities.