In a candid moment this past weekend, I found myself grappling with overwhelming emotions during a lengthy car ride home from a spring break getaway. It was not my proudest hour.
For those of us in teaching and parenting roles, spring break is often perceived as an opportunity to unwind and reconnect with family. Yet, for many mothers, it morphs into a whirlwind of tasks—list-making, packing, unpacking, laundry, and ensuring our children transition smoothly back to their routines. This was my reality, magnified to a point of chaos.
For several months, I have been straddling the demands of parenting, managing a high-pressure job, keeping the house in order, nurturing my online presence (which feels like juggling two full-time jobs), caring for our son with special needs, attending to my own health and weight concerns, and navigating the challenges of my husband and I working opposite shifts. This constant mental juggling act keeps me awake at night, a cycle of anxiety that distracts me even when I should be resting.
The truth is, I feel like I’m failing.
During our car ride, amidst the scenic views of West Virginia, the weight of my responsibilities became too much. I reached a breaking point. “Honey, I can’t handle this anymore,” I confessed quietly to my husband, tears welling in my eyes. It was a moment of honesty, one that he had not been aware of until then.
Rather than adding to my already extensive to-do list—a habit I suspect many can relate to—I am learning the power of saying no.
- No, I won’t be contributing to the staff potluck next week.
- No, I can’t attend your event next weekend.
- No, we won’t be chaperoning prom.
- No, I can’t take on more tutoring after school. This last one particularly stings, yet I know it’s necessary.
This journey is not easy. It feels uncomfortable, even wrong at times. However, I firmly believe that while many mothers are capable of extraordinary feats, we must recognize our limits. Not everything is our responsibility.
The chores will always be there. I can opt to take a lunchtime walk instead of committing to long hours at the gym this month. My children won’t suffer if I prioritize sleep over late-night struggles to get them back to bed. And I can lean on my husband for support when I reach out.
I am just beginning to grasp this two-letter word that often feels taboo: no. If I continue to say yes to everything that clutters my agenda and diminishes my happiness, I risk running myself into the ground, ultimately being less present for my husband, my children, and myself.
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In summary, embracing the power of “no” can lead to a healthier balance in life, allowing us to focus on what truly matters.