In recent times, there’s been a surge of articles discussing what new mothers require after bringing their little ones into the world. These usually come with picturesque images of gift baskets filled with everything from soothing creams to keepsake baby sculptures. However, as a mom who welcomed her child just over a year ago, I feel these portrayals often miss the mark.
When my daughter arrived, I wasn’t interested in elaborate gifts. In fact, I had already stocked up on essentials during the monotonous last weeks of pregnancy. So, if you’re planning to visit a new mom, here are the essential guidelines she may not voice, but desperately wishes you’d understand.
- Bring Nourishment. If I’m fortunate enough to have friends and neighbors providing meals, that’s wonderful—but don’t stop there! I’m ravenous after the marathon of childbirth, and I’ll need snacks throughout the day. Bring breakfast, lunch, or even some delicious treats. Trust me, I’m not counting calories right now.
- Compliment My Appearance. I am fully aware that I might resemble a character from a sci-fi movie right now. Please, indulge me with some flattering words and tell me I look amazing. Your kind words can help soothe the insecurities that come with the postpartum body image struggle.
- Take Care of My Other Kids. The excitement of older siblings meeting their new baby can be overwhelming. While they may mean well, their energy can be a little much for a new mom trying to bond with her infant. Offering to entertain them for a while would be a huge help.
- Help with Chores. Instead of asking how you can assist, just dive in and lend a hand. Tackle the dishes or make the bed without hesitation. However, please steer clear of doing my laundry; some things are best left untouched!
- Allow Me to Share My Birth Story. Whether I’m eager to recount my epic labor tale or I’m tired of telling it, just let me decide. A simple “How did it go?” can open the door for me to share or change the topic.
- Don’t Compete with My Birth Experience. I’m not interested in hearing about anyone else’s childbirth unless it’s to celebrate my own. Every birth is unique and challenging in its way, and today, my experience deserves the spotlight.
- Avoid Judging My Birth Choices. I may assume you’re judging my decisions regarding childbirth, especially if they differ from yours. It’s crucial that you reassure me that I made the right choices for my baby and family.
- Refrain from Critiquing My Parenting Decisions. Visitors usually don’t intend to criticize, but new moms are hyper-aware of potential judgments. Unless my baby is in danger, keep your opinions about my parenting style to yourself.
- Offer Advice Only When Requested. While you may have a wealth of knowledge, I’m the one who knows my baby best. Unsolicited advice can be overwhelming, unless I specifically ask for it. In that case, I’d appreciate your insights.
- Respect My Timeline. Don’t assume I’ll bounce back to my pre-baby self in a couple of weeks. The first year is a beautiful mix of challenges and joys, and I may need support long after the baby arrives.
Remember, the journey of motherhood is both exhilarating and exhausting, and new moms deserve all the understanding and help they can get. For more insights on navigating pregnancy and new parenthood, check out this excellent resource on IVF. And if you’re interested in home insemination, here’s a great article to explore. For an in-depth look at selflessness in parenting, visit this authority on the topic.
In summary, visiting a new mom requires sensitivity and understanding. Bringing food, offering help, and being supportive without judgment can make a significant impact during this transformative period.