As a parent, there’s one fundamental principle to follow when attending or coaching youth sports: Don’t be a jerk. As we dive into the current Little League season, it’s alarming to witness many individuals either unaware of this guideline or in dire need of a refresher. To assist you, I’ve crafted a quiz to clarify appropriate behavior during games.
- Imagine a 7-year-old from the opposing team steps up to bat and strikes out. If you cheer loudly and pump your fist in triumph, ask yourself: Are you the creator of the pitching machine, or do you have a financial stake in its production? If you answered no, congratulations, you’re being a jerk.
- Your team’s shortstop fumbles the ball. Did you just yell, “What were you thinking, Alex?” to the 6-year-old? If so, you guessed it—you’re a jerk. (And if Alex is 12, you’re still a jerk.)
- Did your 9-year-old burst out laughing when an opposing goalie got hit in the face? You’re a jerk. If your child is acting like a jerk, it’s likely they picked it up from you. There are already too many jerks in the world; let’s not create more.
- An 8-year-old from the rival team is batting, and you’re sitting just five feet away. Are you trying to distract him to throw him off his game? (“Hey! Look, the ice cream truck is here!”). If yes, you’re a jerk.
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On your drive home after your 10-year-old’s game, did you say any of the following?
- “What were you thinking with that last play?”
- “Samantha really needs to quit; she’s dragging your team down.”
- “That ref was blind; you were clearly safe.”
If you did, congratulations—you’re a jerk.
- Your daughter’s best friend is playing for the opposing team and hits a grand slam. When she crosses home plate, did you congratulate her or give her a high-five? If not, you’re a jerk.
- During your 7-year-old’s lacrosse match, are you pacing the sidelines like you’re awaiting critical medical results? If yes, you’re a jerk.
- Your child’s coach tells her to “throw it to second!” Did you shout for her to “throw it home!”? If that’s the case, you’re a jerk.
- A 7-year-old second baseman trips while trying to field a ball. Are you arguing with the umpire about obstruction? If so, you’re a jerk.
- Have you ever exclaimed “Things are about to get wild!” during a youth football game? Or yelled “Get some glasses!” at the referee? If so, you’re a jerk.
- Have you ever been ejected from a game or prohibited from coaching in a league? If the answer is yes, you’re a jerk.
Let’s be honest—if you can’t manage your jerk-like behavior, it’s best to stay home. Remember, it’s just a game, and these are kids. Life is simply too short for this nonsense.
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Summary
Engaging in youth sports should focus on fun and learning rather than negativity. Parents should maintain proper conduct, avoiding behaviors that reflect poorly on them and their children. By adhering to simple guidelines, everyone can enjoy the game.