The initial months of marriage were wonderfully serene for Mike and me, largely due to the fact that we had already been living together. Had we returned from our honeymoon and begun merging our lives and belongings then, it would have lacked the charm we experienced. I can recall the early days of sharing a space with my ever-present roommate, and they were filled with challenges rather than bliss.
I often thought to myself, “He’s always around,” as I craved moments of solitude for personal grooming rituals that I preferred to keep private. Preparing for dates transformed from an exciting experience to a frustrating one as we battled for space at the cramped vanity. Shaving my legs became a multi-tasking challenge while he occupied the toilet, and the bed was perpetually messy—his feet needing to “breathe” and his socks mysteriously accumulating at the foot of the bed seemed designed just to annoy me. We had a lot to navigate in those first few months.
Moreover, Mike had his opinions about decor, which should have been solely my domain. I still remember the time he insisted on attending the florist appointment for our wedding flowers, claiming to care, only to doze off and snore through most of it. Did he truly care? Can’t I have flowers, bedding, scents, and window treatments all to myself? Hands off, darling—go create a man-cave or something.
Fifteen years later, aside from the occasional squabble over who needs to replace the toilet paper or his ongoing failure to take out the recycling, I’ve embraced living with Mike (and our wonderful kids). Most days, I even enjoy it. However, that doesn’t stop me from envisioning a dream house where I could live free from the chaos of husband and kids.
Would you like a glimpse?
Let’s start in the bedroom, where a lovely pink comforter reigns, free of stray hairs and breakfast crumbs. Next, we move to the bathroom, which features a single sink devoid of hair clippings, toothpaste smudges, or any clutter, not to mention a clawfoot tub adorned with a chandelier that serves merely as decoration.
I would have a dressing room, naturally, providing a serene space to apply makeup and accessorize. The kitchen would revolve around my pink Cuisinart mixer, with the delightful aroma of vanilla-scented candles wafting through the air. And last but not least, I’d have the ultimate gift-wrapping and craft room—a true creative haven. Take that, Candy Spelling!
Ultimately, if everything goes as planned, and we continue our journey happily, this dream house will remain a cherished vision in my mind. And truthfully, that’s not a bad place for it to be.
(P.S. Mike, while you were out, I decided we’re switching sides of the bed. Hope that’s cool with you!)
This article was originally published on July 31, 2011.
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Summary:
The journey of co-habitation can be challenging but rewarding. Sharing space with a partner often leads to humorous and frustrating moments. While the author reflects on the dream house she envisions without the chaos of family life, she acknowledges the beauty of her current reality.