Dear friends who often say, “The days feel endless, but the years fly by”: I appreciate your concern. However, today, I feel compelled to share something important. You seem to have forgotten just how long these days can truly be.
You’ve overlooked the frantic moments of early motherhood—waking abruptly at 5:03 a.m. to a toddler demanding pancakes and their favorite cartoons. The process of making breakfast quickly turns into a 12-minute negotiation over just how many blueberries go into those pancakes. You navigate every request, balancing peanut butter and syrup, only to hear, “Mom, can I just have cereal instead?”
You forgot.
You forgot the feeling of realizing, at 4 p.m., that you haven’t glanced in a mirror all day. The breakfast mess is splattered on the yoga pants you’ve worn since Tuesday. Your hair has become a greasy nest because there’s simply no time for self-care with a teething baby and a partner who’s working late.
You forgot.
You forgot the struggle to complete a sentence, let alone a thought. Conversations become fragmented snippets where you can never seem to finish a coherent message with other adults.
You forgot.
Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, it’s your turn to reflect. And I anticipate your response. Because it rings true. I know—I’m forgetting too. I’m forgetting that one day, I’ll miss the little ones who come inside covered in dirt after playing in the garden. Yet, today, those muddy footprints just add to my to-do list, standing between me and dinner—a meal that will take 30 minutes to prepare, only for no one to touch it.
You’re right. I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten that this needy baby who only wants to be held will soon turn into a little boy who shies away from public hugs. I’ve forgotten that, in the future, I’ll have the freedom to enjoy nice dinners with my partner, imagining the voices of my children interrupting our night with silly stories and wild requests.
I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten that one day, I’ll watch my children grow up, chase their dreams, and even get married. While I’ll feel immense joy for them, I will also feel a deep ache inside as they step into new chapters of their lives and no longer need me.
Eventually, there will be no one asking for oatmeal or that red spoon. But today is not that day. Today was long, exhausting, and at times, thankless. The kids were demanding and misbehaving, far from perfect. And that’s perfectly fine. That’s just what motherhood is like right now. Even in your dream job, you’re allowed to have challenging days.
“The days are long, but the years are short.” I promise, there will come a time when I’ll want to hear your thoughts on how fleeting these years truly are. But today is not one of those days. Because you’ve forgotten just how lengthy these days can be.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to strap a wailing baby to my back while I intervene in a toddler dispute over the Spiderman cup, tackle 17 loads of laundry, and prepare a gourmet dinner. Spoiler alert: It’ll likely end with hot dogs at 8:47 p.m.
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Summary:
In the whirlwind of early motherhood, days can feel endlessly long while the years seem to slip by. This reflective piece highlights the struggles of daily routines, the chaos of parenting young children, and the bittersweet realization that these moments, while exhausting, are fleeting. Remembering to appreciate the present amidst the challenges is essential for all parents navigating this demanding yet rewarding journey.