It was a warm mid-morning, under a bright blue sky punctuated by fluffy white clouds. My two boys and I had just returned from running errands and decided to take a bike ride. We packed a bag with some bread to feed the geese that had been populating our neighborhood. They seemed to be everywhere the week prior—crossing streets, rummaging through yards, and herding their goslings back into the local ponds. However, on that day, we couldn’t find a single one.
After pedaling to the last pond on our route and coming up empty, I devised a new plan. We would bike back to the first pond near our home. My five-year-old took off ahead, eager to reach our destination. I reminded him to slow down and wait for his younger brother and me. He acknowledged my request; he was always good about waiting. Until that day, when he wasn’t.
Looking back, my heart races at the memory. As I turned the corner towards the tunnel, panic set in when I realized he was nowhere in sight. With my three-year-old in tow, I dashed through the tunnel, barely able to contain my fear. Emerging on the other side, I frantically scanned in both directions, but my son was gone. The terrifying call to 911 felt surreal. Just moments ago, I had been trailing behind them, marveling at how quickly they were growing up. In an instant, one of them was missing. How could this happen?
The 20 minutes that followed felt like an eternity, as I waited on the phone with the operator, desperately hoping for someone to find him. I sobbed and screamed his name, praying my voice could reach him. When he finally appeared, jumping out of the police SUV and into my arms, I could only imagine the anguish of parents whose children have been missing for far longer. The relief was so profound it nearly brought me to my knees.
You might think it will never happen to you, but many experienced parents would argue otherwise. There may come a time when your child goes missing, whether in a grocery store, at a park, or even on a bike trail. Here’s how to handle such a situation effectively:
- Assess Your Surroundings. Are you indoors or outdoors? Is it a familiar or new area? Are there potential dangers nearby?
- Decide When to Stay or Go. If your child wanders off, they often return to the last place they remember being with you. If you’re in a grocery store, head to the front and alert an employee—they have protocols to secure the area. In familiar outdoor spaces, it’s generally best to remain where you are.
- Make the Call. Every second counts when a child is missing. Don’t hesitate to call 911, even if your child shows up before help arrives. It’s always wise to have assistance on the way.
- Stay Calm. Once your child is found, it’s easy to let relief turn into anger. Yelling about how irresponsible they were won’t help; they were likely just as frightened as you were.
- Practice Emergency Protocols. A friend suggested that I label my sons’ bikes with my contact information. This never occurred to me, but it’s a brilliant idea. When my son went missing, he told a woman he was lost, but he didn’t know my phone number. If it had been on his bike, he could have been home sooner. My husband and I plan to run drills to ensure both boys know what to do in emergencies, which is crucial at any age.
Above all, cherish your community. I am grateful for the kind souls in my neighborhood—the woman who first encountered my son and offered to help, the neighbor who works security and aided the police, and the officers who brought him back to me. I owe them a debt of gratitude.
This article was originally published on May 31, 2016.