My 4-year-old daughter, Lily, spent yesterday in tears. In fact, she had cried for nearly all of the previous day too, and the one before that. There are valid reasons for her emotional outbursts. With the start of the school year, she’s been deprived of sleep due to our earlier wake-up time, and adjusting from being at home with me to attending pre-kindergarten for half the day has been a challenge.
For a child her age, this level of distress is completely understandable. It’s akin to taking an adult who is used to a comfortable life and dropping them into an isolated jungle community with nothing but a sarcastic farewell while you fly off in a helicopter. It’s an overwhelming situation for a little one.
On an intellectual level, I grasp why Lily is so emotionally fragile right now. However, knowing this doesn’t transform me into a calm, nurturing parent. When she declared at dinner that my perfectly normal meal was “weird” and began to wail, I found myself at a loss. Other minor grievances that sent her into tears over the past few days included the way her shorts “felt funny,” a classmate named Max touching her shoulder, and my request for her to move her cup away from the table’s edge.
Then came the climax at bedtime: Lily insisted that we were now a co-sleeping family. The only times we’ve ever shared a bed were right after she was born, during hotel stays, and while camping. My husband can be quite the restless sleeper; I didn’t need my child adding to the chaos.
I had exercised patience and understanding for three consecutive days, and even managed to maintain a semblance of calm for most of yesterday. I hugged her, offered comfort, explained things, distracted her, sang lullabies, and did all the things that are expected of a good parent. I even took deep breaths, hoping to transmit my tranquility through my heartbeat.
But by last night, after a prolonged day of being the “Super Mom,” I reached my limit. Lily was screaming that she would never sleep in her own room again. I tried to remain firm: “It’s time for bed.” I attempted empathy: “I understand; it’s been a tough few days. I’ll rub your back.” I even attempted authority: “Don’t speak to me like that, young lady.” But ultimately, I erupted: “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I’M LOSING MY MIND!!! I’M DONE! I’M OUT OF HERE!”
While my husband stayed with her as she continued to scream, I stepped outside and paced around the driveway. I needed to escape the sound of her cries. At that moment, I felt as if I was either going to yell so loud I’d traumatize my children or hurl something across the room. So I walked away.
For a fleeting second, the thought of grabbing Lily’s nightstand and throwing it against her dresser seemed rational. I could almost hear the shattering glass echoing in my mind. The image of me screaming at my innocent child, who was simply struggling with her own challenges, filled me with dread. I not only lost sympathy for her but also felt no guilt over it. The only thing that stopped me from acting on my chaotic thoughts was the knowledge that I shouldn’t.
For those who might say, “It’s fine; your husband was there, so she was supervised,” I assure you, I would have left regardless of his presence. And as long as there aren’t any dangerous items within reach, I believe it’s perfectly acceptable for any parent at their breaking point to step away. If my husband hadn’t been home, I might have locked myself in the bathroom for a moment of peace or stood outside with a glass (or possibly a bottle) of wine.
I’m sharing this not to lament about losing my cool with my child. We all reach that point. I want to emphasize that my initial reaction was to feel guilty for stepping away from my daughter. But I’m done feeling that way. I believe I did the right thing by taking a moment for myself, and I’m giving other mothers the same permission. Sometimes, when faced with the choice between losing control and stepping away for a breather, it’s essential to prioritize your own mental well-being. These moments are the raw realities of parenting, and sometimes you just need to check out for a bit.
In the world of parenting, there are challenges aplenty, whether it’s transitioning to new routines or simply handling the everyday chaos. For those navigating similar waters, you may find helpful insights in our other blog posts, such as this guide on the Baby Maker Insemination Kit. Additionally, for more information on tools that can help with parenting, consider visiting this resource on breast pumps. And for even more related information, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination.
Summary
This article reflects the struggles of parenting a young child and the importance of recognizing when to take a break for one’s mental health. It emphasizes that stepping away from a challenging situation is sometimes necessary and should not be a source of guilt.