Parenting
Recently, a friend of mine shared a humorous meme on Facebook that caught my attention. It featured the cover of an old mystery novel with a group of girls burying something under the moonlight, titled “The Night We Buried Our Last Worry.” I couldn’t help but laugh! The group of moms she tagged are known for gathering to share their experiences of motherhood. To be frank, we often come together to let our kids entertain each other, sip coffee, and engage in a good venting session.
I realize that some mothers might scold us for this. They might suggest we should be grateful and acknowledge the blessings we have because our children are precious gifts (which I truly believe). However, after over five years as a stay-at-home mom, I sometimes need to express my frustrations. If you’re one of those moms who feels blessed all the time, that’s fantastic! But I wouldn’t recommend joining my group of friends just yet. We’re still navigating the chaos of sleepless nights, hurried lunches while dishing out snacks, and training our bodies to find time for basic needs like bathroom breaks. This chaotic life is a mix of exhaustion and joy.
Honestly, it often feels like moms lose out on fundamental rights. We can’t eat when hungry, use the restroom when necessary, or sleep when tired. Once, I was so fatigued that I accidentally drove through a red light. While driving under the influence is illegal, exhausted moms have to power through and keep it together.
Now, back to that meme. At one point in my life, I was among those “hashtag blessed” moms—the judgmental ones. I had dreamed of being a mother my entire life, and I was determined to be the best one possible. I read countless books, adhered to every guideline, and followed every Pinterest idea. Most of the pressure? It came from me. I wanted to be the “perfect mom” while fearing judgment at every turn—be it for using a stroller instead of wearing my baby or opting for bottle-feeding over breastfeeding. The scrutiny intensified when my son began throwing tantrums; I felt the stares and judgments from onlookers whenever he lost it in public.
Then one day, something changed—I buried my last worry. I distinctly remember that day; it was a frigid afternoon at our local family-friendly restaurant. The staff there always treats us with warmth, which is a rare gift for stay-at-home moms. Unlike many eateries, it’s a place where I can walk in with my children without receiving disapproving glares from childless patrons.
On this day, we lingered for an hour and a half while the kids played. But it was time to head home for my daughter’s nap. After giving them a five-minute warning, I knew a struggle awaited. Sure enough, when it was time to go, my daughter erupted into a full-blown tantrum, exhausted and needing rest. I tried everything to calm her down, but nothing worked. My son was equally uncooperative, refusing to put on his shoes or coat despite the bitter cold.
Taking a deep breath, I scooped up my screaming toddler, grabbed the coats, and sternly instructed my son to follow me to the car. I can visualize how I must have looked: my daughter kicking and crying, me weighed down by winter gear and my purse, while my son trailed behind, barefoot and complaining about leaving. Sweat trickled down my face as I huffed along, carrying everything in freezing temperatures.
As we approached the car, I passed an older woman in the parking lot who shot me a disapproving look, silently judging my parenting skills. I could almost hear her thoughts: “What a terrible mother!” But instead of letting it bother me, I smiled back at her. I refused to let her judgment affect me. I’ve been a mom long enough to know my worth; I was doing my best, and that’s what mattered. I had finally buried my last worry. And just like that, I felt a sense of freedom.
For those interested in exploring options for starting a family, check out resources like American Pregnancy for insights on donor insemination or consider the Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit for home insemination methods. Additionally, Dr. Sarah Lopez’s upcoming talk at the Commonwealth Club promises to be informative.
In conclusion, it’s vital for moms to recognize their own worth and let go of the unnecessary pressures that come from external judgments. Embrace the chaos and know that you are doing the best you can.