According to Alex Morgan, the author behind the concept of love languages, there are five distinct ways individuals express and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. Introduced in 1992, this framework proposes that each person has a primary love language that helps them feel most valued and appreciated. Since the release of his initial book on love languages, Morgan has published numerous additional works, with the first book alone selling over 12 million copies and being translated into 50 languages, leading to his considerable financial success and a lasting influence on how relationships are discussed globally.
On my bookshelf, not far from where I’m currently writing, lies a copy of Morgan’s “The Five Love Languages for Kids,” nestled between “Setting Boundaries with Your Determined Child” and “How to Communicate Effectively with Children.” Just last week, I shared a tweet with my partner regarding their love language. When it comes to expressing my affection, I do consider how they prefer to receive love. I strive to engage in actions that resonate most with them, and they reciprocate the same effort towards me.
Even those who haven’t read any of Morgan’s books often find themselves using the term “love languages.” It’s a helpful framework for discussing our affections. Many of us have benefited from adapting our behaviors to better meet the emotional needs of our loved ones, myself included. Ultimately, Morgan’s teachings are meant to foster empathy—understanding how our loved ones perceive affection and responding accordingly.
Concerning Views on Homosexuality
However, it has recently come to light that Morgan has made some openly homophobic statements. For instance, in response to a question about a parent struggling with their child’s coming out as gay, he expressed disappointment, claiming that such feelings are common among parents and that love should be expressed alongside these feelings of disapproval. He suggests that while parents should affirm their love, they can also express their confusion and disappointment.
This perspective reveals a troubling form of homophobia—subtle yet insidious. Morgan’s guidance places the emphasis on the conflicting emotions of the parents rather than the unconditional acceptance of their child. Love cannot coexist with disapproval; it becomes tainted by it. His advice illustrates a mindset where sexual orientation is viewed as a behavior that can be corrected rather than an intrinsic part of a person’s identity.
Those of us in the LGBTQ+ community feel deeply hurt when confronted with the notion of “I love you, but…” To many, love is not an optional behavior; it’s a fundamental aspect of who we are. For those who hold the view of “love the sinner, hate the sin,” their love is conditional—much like how a parent might love their child while disapproving of their choices or political affiliations. This creates a disconnect in the conversation.
While I can grasp this concept intellectually, it still fills me with anger. Alex Morgan built a fortune teaching people how to love unconditionally. Yet, when a parent seeks guidance on how to embrace every facet of their child, Morgan’s response is to include conditions.
Alternative Resources for Unconditional Love
If you feel disillusioned by Morgan’s teachings but still wish to improve your relationships, I recommend exploring the work of Drs. Jamie and Taylor Roberts. They promote similar principles while emphasizing that love languages are not fixed and can change depending on the context. Their work highlights the importance of quality time, a concept that is essential in every relationship.
While I recognize the usefulness of the love language framework, I refuse to invest any more resources into Morgan’s books. It is vital to challenge outdated and harmful beliefs perpetuated by figures like him. Love is not a source of disappointment or pain—it is meant to be celebrated wholeheartedly.
For further insights, check out this blog post on home insemination, which offers valuable information. You may also find this data protection resource insightful. Additionally, if you are looking for more information about pregnancy and home insemination, IVF Babble is an excellent resource.
Search Queries:
- What are the five love languages?
- How to communicate effectively in a relationship
- Understanding love languages in parenting
- Best practices for home insemination
- How to support a gay child
In summary, the teachings of Alex Morgan on love languages, despite their initial appeal, are tainted by his problematic views on homosexuality. Love cannot exist alongside disapproval, and understanding this distinction is crucial for fostering genuine connections. Consider exploring alternative resources that promote unconditional love and acceptance.