I wear many hats in life: I’m a mom, a partner, a friend. I’m also someone who feels deeply, struggles with patience, and has a big heart. My love for coffee is unwavering, while yoga? Not so much. And let’s be honest, I have a penchant for colorful language. Okay, who am I kidding? I’m a fierce, unapologetic mom who swears like a sailor, and I have zero plans to change that. I’m an adult, and I’ll express myself however I please.
There’s a whole squad of us moms who are over the tired advice to “act like a lady” (seriously?). We just want to be authentic. Honestly, I’ve never understood why people get so uptight over cursing. As long as it’s not harmful or directed at someone, who really gets hurt by a well-timed “damn” or “hell”?
However, while swearing can be liberating and fun, not everyone shares that sentiment. Parenthood complicates things a bit and comes with its own set of unspoken rules regarding language. But we colorful moms are a unique sisterhood, and we’ve got each other’s backs. So, without further ado, here’s the Colorful Mom’s Manual to Parenting:
You’ll Realize Your Kids Are Spelling Experts Before You Know It.
Many parents have found themselves surprised when their children start spelling words they’d rather they didn’t hear. You’ll long for those blissful days when you could freely vent with a few choice words, and your little ones were blissfully unaware. Kids are like tiny spies, always eavesdropping. They pick up everything and often regurgitate it at the most inconvenient times. So, brace yourself for a sudden “What the heck?!” echoing through the grocery store. Just roll with it; even the uptight moms have a hard time stifling laughter when a toddler lets loose with a well-timed expletive.
Educate Your Kids on the Art of Swearing.
Since kids have a tendency to mimic, it’s vital to teach them the ins and outs of using colorful language appropriately. Some parents impose a strict “no swearing” rule, but I prefer a more balanced approach—“don’t be a jerk” and “don’t get caught.” If my child wants to let out a few choice words when a Lego creation goes down, that’s fine. However, they know that if I get a call from school about their language, they’ll be in big trouble. And for crying out loud, if you’re going to swear, make sure it’s in the right context! A misplaced expletive can ruin a good moment.
Mind Your Language at Parent-Teacher Meetings.
Unless you’re aiming to earn the title of “that mom,” which, let’s be honest, might not be the worst label to have.
Don’t Let the Naysayers Rain on Your Parade.
Not everyone appreciates a good expletive-laden rant, and there are those whose sensibilities are offended at every turn. Beware of these pearl-clutching types who might attempt to suck the joy out of your day with their shocked expressions. You have two choices: tone it down to avoid their judgment or crank it up and see just how red their faces can get.
Swearing Can Make Everything A Bit More Bearable.
Feeling like your brain is turning to mush after a marathon of children’s programming? Cursing can remind you that you’re an adult, not just a mom. Facing a toddler meltdown? Let a few choice words fly and remember that you’re a total badass. If you’re having one of those days where everything feels like an epic disaster, and your partner just informed you they’ll be late, let loose. Swearing is like a hug, a pillow punch, and a pep talk all rolled into one. And when you need to vent, reach out to a fellow Colorful Mom because swearing truly does make everything better.
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In summary, being a mom is a wild ride filled with ups, downs, and plenty of colorful language. Embrace your unique style, support your fellow moms, and remember that a good swear can sometimes make everything just a little bit brighter.