How can you confide in fellow parents about the unique hurdles you face with your exceptionally bright child without coming off as boastful? We’ve all encountered those who engage in subtle bragging—like when someone mentions how overwhelmed they are while preparing for a lavish cruise. It can be exhausting.
Nonetheless, I am eager to share my experiences regarding the pressures I feel as a mother of a gifted son. The issues I grapple with often diverge from the typical challenges that other parents discuss, leading to some awkwardness in conversations.
My youngest son, Jacob, is undeniably gifted. I don’t say this out of mere parental pride; his exceptional intellect is the one quality about him that can be quantitatively assessed. You might be rolling your eyes already—another parent convinced their child is extraordinary. I’ve penned countless articles, yet this one remains particularly difficult to write. We’ve undergone all the necessary evaluations, even though I already recognized his intelligence. I pursued this route to ensure my concerns were taken seriously rather than dismissed as mere maternal enthusiasm.
One day, while driving, Jacob, then about four or five, posed a question about square numbers. He astutely noted, “5 times 5 is a perfect square, making 25, right? Five groups of 5.” His transition from non-reader to fluent reading occurred in just a month. He was engrossed in “reading” for years, meticulously memorizing texts before daring to read aloud.
There’s smart, there’s gifted, and then there’s this entirely different level—where we find ourselves. While it seems impressive, I often wish I could tone down his brilliance. After just a month in kindergarten, I had to withdraw him, despite our fondness for the school. Why? He began losing skills and resorting to counting on his fingers. He wanted to fit in, which raised significant concerns for me.
Following that, I chose to homeschool him. I allowed Jacob to dictate the learning pace, and we dove deep into topics like botany, covering nearly everything that I learned in high school biology. He even requested to create a mock episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy to showcase what he had absorbed. Soon after, we tackled the periodic table—not every element, but nearly all of them—much to his delight. Concepts like atomic structure and quantum physics fascinated him. I sourced books, watched countless YouTube videos, and did my best to keep up with his curiosity.
My interest in the Olympics stems more from the pre-competition stories than the sports themselves. I’ve always admired the parents who move across the country to provide their children with the best training and opportunities. I knew that wouldn’t be my path. Yet, now we find ourselves contemplating radical changes—leaving our community of fifteen years, our jobs, our state—because it’s evident that the current situation isn’t sufficient.
During after-school pickups, I often feel detached from other parents. When they ask, “How is your child adjusting to Ms. Thompson?” I have to remind myself that my son isn’t even in that class; he skipped a grade, which complicates matters.
“You must spend a lot of time working with him at home,” they say, but in reality, I try to temper his learning since skipping five grades isn’t feasible. “How did he get so smart?” they inquire, and I respond with a chuckle, “It’s a mix of genetics and good nutrition.”
I’m open to discussing Jacob—he’s my pride and joy—but I haven’t found a concise way to convey our reality without feeling dishonest. When I express uncertainty about navigating his education, other mothers often respond by telling me how fortunate I am. Yet, this isn’t a productive conversation; each of us faces our unique set of challenges.
Society tends to offer sympathy for children with autism, ADD, asthma, or dyslexia, but giftedness is often overlooked. It presents its own challenges, which can be just as daunting. For instance, finding appropriate reading materials for a boy who reads at a level surpassing many community college students is no small feat.
As I ponder what middle school will look like for a child who might outsmart me, I try to stay optimistic. Right now, his peers are enchanted by his small stature and impressive vocabulary. I hope that admiration continues as he learns to navigate friendships with those who may not yet grasp why he’s excited about developments like the Nobel Prize in physics announcement.
This article was originally published on October 28, 2015.
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Summary
Raising a gifted child presents unique challenges that often lead to feelings of isolation among parents. This article shares the experience of a mother navigating the complexities of her son’s exceptional intellect while seeking appropriate educational avenues. It highlights the importance of understanding and support from the parenting community, as well as the need for tailored resources for gifted children.