Among the many truths of parenting, one stands out for my family: it’s often a gamble. My partner and I have explored various parenting philosophies, from the free-spirited natural approach to co-sleeping and avoiding the word “no.” We even experimented with discipline methods like time-outs, spanking, and a reward system that involved toys and treats for good behavior.
However, we’ve reached a point of exhaustion, especially as our kids frequently unite against us. Consequently, we abandoned strategies that left us feeling defeated. Although we don’t resort to spanking, we’ve found ourselves swearing—often not directed at our children, but in reaction to their antics. If anyone were to listen outside our home between 2:30 PM and 7:30 PM, they might conclude I’m fervently passionate about something—perhaps even religious.
My four-year-old son, a verbal whiz, benefits from two parents who engage him with grown-up language. By the age of two, he could articulate the difference between “May I?” and “Can I?” His impressive vocabulary has garnered admiration from family and friends alike, including our pediatrician.
A Knock-Knock Surprise
So, naturally, I was bursting with pride when he unveiled his own adaptation of a beloved knock-knock joke in front of Grandma:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch!”
Me: “Whaaaaaat?!”
Four-Year-Old: “You didn’t say knock-knock!”
Me: (struggling to contain laughter and shock) “Uh, Bitch, erm… who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch been knocking out here all day!”
Me: (caught between horror and amusement)
The original joke he had memorized (which he had repeated countless times) went like this:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben”
Me: “Ben who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben knocking out here all day!”
In the wake of his clever performance, I felt a wave of parenting shame wash over me, perhaps more than ever before. I could tell Grandma was questioning our household’s atmosphere. Flustered explanations followed.
Once home and the embarrassment faded, I shared the incident with my partner, and we erupted in laughter. This experience taught us a valuable lesson about monitoring our language around the kids. While we still indulge in a bit of adult swearing, we now reserve it for after the children are asleep, during our evening wind-down with a glass of wine.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and related topics, you might find our guide on home insemination kits informative, as well as valuable insights from experts at Intracervical Insemination and resources from the CDC.
In summary, parenting is unpredictable, and navigating language around children can be a tricky venture. Our kids are always listening, reminding us to be mindful of our words, and it’s never too late to adjust our approach.