Caring for my 3-year-old son’s hair has become a daily struggle. His hair is quite curly, with some areas that kink up, making regular detangling a must. However, in reality, that daily upkeep often turns into a weekly affair due to his strong aversion to having his hair brushed. This has been a persistent challenge from the start and, unfortunately, it hasn’t become any easier as he grows. Honestly, I often lack the motivation to turn it into a battle, especially in winter when he can easily hide his hair under a hat. On the bright side, there’s something endearing about his messy hair.
He received his first haircut at 2.5 years old. Prior to that, he had very little hair until around 18 months, when a surprise mop of hair sprouted. I wanted to let it grow longer for as long as possible because I adored the idea of a little boy with flowing locks. Initially, his hair was less curly and more straight, curling only at the ends. However, the straight sections were stringy and prone to knots, prompting me to finally schedule his first haircut after countless struggles with detangled mats amidst his cries.
Selecting a salon was a daunting task for me. My friend urged me to just take him to a barbershop, but I knew that wouldn’t suit his needs. As a mixed child—his father is white and I am black—his hair is soft and a blend of straight and curly, requiring someone skilled in handling diverse hair types. The salon also had to be child-friendly, accommodating a potentially loud and fidgety little one.
After sifting through various kiddie salons with mixed reviews, I finally found one in New York City’s West Village that seemed promising. It featured adorable salon chairs designed like cars and boats, complete with DVD players at each station for the kids to enjoy during their cut. Additionally, they blew bubbles to entertain the children. Bubbles are a surefire way to win my son over, so I was sold.
Despite my efforts, he cried throughout the entire haircut. The stylist was remarkably patient, guiding me on how to hold him while an assistant blew bubbles and the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse played in the background. He was particularly upset when I tried to capture a video for his dad and snap some Instagram photos. Everyone warned me that once I started trimming his hair, I’d be in for regular maintenance, but I requested a style that would look good even as it grew out. I wasn’t mentally prepared for frequent visits to the salon.
Most of our hair care happens during bath time because it’s significantly easier to detangle hair when it’s wet. However, by the time we reach shampooing and conditioning, he’s already in a foul mood from having to interrupt his playtime. He screams as if I’m inflicting torture during the washing process. The tears multiply when it’s time to apply conditioner and tackle the tangles.
For a long time, I used a wide-tooth comb, which worked but took too long on a wailing toddler. Now, I rely on the Wet Brush, which has been a game changer. He still protests while I work through the knots and rinse, and the screams only increase when I apply leave-in conditioner. Yes, it requires more product, but it’s essential for managing those relentless tangles.
I consider myself fortunate because, despite being half black, my son’s hair is relatively soft and manageable with regular conditioning. My own hair is quite coarse, and I used to create quite the scene when my mother tried to comb it. I suppose I’m now experiencing my own karma.
One key takeaway from my experience is the importance of finding the right hair products. It may take time and experimentation, but discovering what works best is essential. I learned quickly that standard baby shampoo isn’t suitable for us. His hair doesn’t get greasy or dry, allowing me to wash it less often, which is a relief. Thank goodness for leave-in conditioner; it honestly saves my sanity.
I hope that one day he will outgrow the tantrums associated with hair washing and combing, though I’m aware that day might still be far off. Until then, I’ll continue to navigate this journey, eagerly awaiting the moment he can manage his own hair.
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Summary
Caring for my mixed child’s curly hair presents significant challenges, especially during detangling and washing. Though I’ve learned the importance of the right products and techniques, it remains a struggle filled with tears and tantrums. As I navigate this journey, I look forward to the day when he can take care of his own hair.