My partner’s family has been asking us to visit after the school year wraps up. However, the thought of driving up the coast during a pandemic fills me with dread. It’s just not feasible, and I know they will be disappointed. Then there’s the question of our summer beach trip — Nags Head has reopened, and it seems like it could be safe, especially if we avoid rest stops. But what about next school year? Will my partner be teaching in a physical classroom? How often? Will students be required to wear masks? The most difficult aspect of COVID-19 for me is the inability to make any plans. I have no idea what next month, this summer, or even next year holds in store.
Vacation Plans Are Uncertain
I want to assure my kids that we’ll be going to the state parks this summer, but I simply can’t commit to that. I have no way of knowing whether others will follow social distancing guidelines (they don’t seem to be doing so around here). I’m concerned that the parks will be too crowded, and I’m not keen on encountering unmasked individuals on trails. Even planning a quick visit to the park nearby to launch our kayaks feels overwhelming — how could I possibly plan a trip across the state?
As for our beach vacation, it’s a summer tradition, and although the rental looks available, I can’t shake the worry. My partner’s family has remained isolated, so we could be safe together. But can I trust that everyone will stick to safety protocols while driving? Avoiding gas station handles and restrooms feels nearly impossible, and studies, like one published in Nature, highlight that restroom areas can be hotspots for the virus. The thought of relying on others’ adherence to safety measures is enough to drive me mad. I refuse to risk contracting COVID-19 after months of isolation just to go to the beach.
Unanswerable Questions
When my son asks when he can see his friends again, I have to suppress a laugh. “One day” is all I can offer. As we homeschool, I control when they can socialize again, but right now, I can’t make any decisions about it. I don’t know if interactions will be possible in August, September, or even if kids will be allowed to play together while wearing masks. I’m unsure if we’ll even feel safe going to the store until a vaccine is available.
Halloween is another source of anxiety. I can’t plan costumes for my Halloween-loving kids when I have no idea if trick-or-treating will even happen. Will people toss candy from their yards? Do Halloween masks count as “real” masks? Maybe I should just dress them as healthcare workers.
The uncertainty continues with the holidays. I have no idea where we will celebrate Christmas, and my in-laws still have gifts from last year. I can’t plan a visit to my grandfather, who resides in a nursing home and whom I haven’t seen in over a year. The thought of never seeing him again is too painful to bear. The prospect of attending funerals for our older relatives if they pass is equally daunting — we both have grandfathers who are quite ill, and we’ve likely seen them for the last time.
Everyday Life Is Just As Uncertain
I can’t even schedule routine vet appointments for our puppy. It’s a necessity that requires navigating the whims of the vet’s office, which is often unreachable. Regular medical check-ups for my kids are just as complicated. While one physician offers telehealth services, my primary care doctor insists on in-person visits despite the risks — this leads to panic attacks rather than solutions.
My calendar is utterly devoid of entries. What used to be filled with playdates, vacations, and school events is now a blank slate, leaving me in limbo. I don’t mind being at home with my kids; what troubles me is the inability to plan. Like Tom Petty sang, the waiting is truly the hardest part. For more thoughts on this topic, check out our post on home insemination.
In summary, the unpredictability of life during COVID-19 has made planning nearly impossible, leading to feelings of anxiety and frustration. The inability to foresee future interactions, events, or even simple tasks has created a sense of helplessness. For resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Women’s Health and Intracervical Insemination.