If you were to ask my children what they envision for Christmas morning, they’d respond, “Staying home all day in our pajamas and playing with our new toys.” It really is that straightforward, and for the last few Christmases, that’s exactly how we’ve spent the day—without a single regret.
This wasn’t always the case, however. Before becoming parents, we cherished our Christmases in Maine with extended family. It was a beloved tradition, a welcome escape from our bustling city life, and we could always count on a snowy holiday (Maine is practically blanketed in snow from October onward). Our relatives went all out with festive decorations and were incredibly warm and welcoming.
But when our first child arrived a decade ago, that annual trek to Maine morphed from a cherished family gathering into a chaotic ordeal. Our baby was a notorious car screamer, turning what used to be a four-hour drive into an exhausting eight-hour journey filled with frequent stops to calm him down.
Once we finally arrived—grateful for our family’s kindness—it was anything but easy to adjust to a new environment with an infant. Our baby’s sleep schedule was totally disrupted, and he was fascinated by all the tempting but off-limits items in their beautifully decorated, non-babyproofed home. I can’t even count how many pinecones and tinsel pieces he managed to snack on for breakfast that year.
We thought the following year would be smoother, but we kept making that trip year after year before realizing that traveling with children during the holidays was not as magical as we’d hoped. I found myself doing more packing and unpacking than actually enjoying our time together. Although the car screams eventually subsided, crankiness persisted. And soon, we welcomed another child into the mix, which reignited the chaos.
As our kids grew older, they began expressing a genuine desire to celebrate holiday traditions from the comfort of our home. And honestly, who could blame them? Aren’t most kids naturally inclined to be homebodies, especially during the holidays? What they really want is to feel cozy and familiar, lying around on Christmas morning with all the toys they’ve eagerly awaited.
So, a few years ago, we made the decision to break from our Christmas tradition. No more trips to Maine.
It’s easier said than done. The holidays are often charged with emotions and expectations. Guilt and pressure can seep in, and not everyone will understand your reasoning. Some might even challenge your choice.
Breaking tradition, especially during the holidays, can be incredibly challenging. However, it’s essential to stand firm in your decisions. While it was difficult when we were a younger family, we’ve grown wiser over the years, making it easier to establish our boundaries.
I’ll admit that there is a unique charm in spending holidays with extended family, and I do miss it to some degree. I value my children’s relationships with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, and I want them to treasure those bonds for a lifetime. But there’s also something equally enchanting about enjoying the holidays in the intimate setting of our own home, and that has become our new norm. Frankly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
A “just us” holiday means everyone staying up late, munching on popcorn, and watching A Charlie Brown Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street until the kids drift off in your arms. It’s about carrying them quietly to bed and snuggling together until morning. It’s waking up on Christmas day to leftover cookies for breakfast, knowing there’s nowhere to rush off to and no one to impress, all while wearing whatever you feel comfortable in.
It allows for baking in our pajamas without the worry of disrupting someone else’s kitchen. You can skip the stress of managing multiple personalities and their preferences about holiday traditions. Instead, you get to savor every moment off from work without wasting time on travel, fully embracing each lazy second with your family.
This approach means significantly less stress—because really, why should the holidays be anything but joyful? Yes, it sometimes involves breaking traditions and possibly disappointing some people. But it also opens the door to creating new traditions that you and your children will cherish for years to come.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by family obligations during the holiday season and believe that spending quality time at home with your immediate family is what you all truly desire, then go for it. Cut those ties, say goodbye to the old ways, and do it your way. I can promise you it will be just as magical as you’ve always imagined.
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In summary, embracing a “just us” holiday can create intimate, stress-free experiences that your family will cherish. Breaking away from traditional obligations allows for the formation of your own unique family traditions.