As a child, I often heard that I was too sensitive, and I frequently found myself in the role of the family peacemaker. Looking back, I realize that my attempts to maintain harmony were a survival tactic. Now, as an adult, I’ve come to understand that I’m an empath, someone who experiences emotions—both joyful and painful—at an intense level. Growing up, I absorbed the tumultuous feelings from my family, which often was not a nurturing environment.
Empaths are characterized by their heightened sensitivity, a strong need for solitude to recharge, and a deep intuition that can sometimes lead to overextending themselves. Most significantly, empaths are adept at absorbing the emotions of those around them, and this can feel like a burden. Whether as a child or a parent, being the family empath can feel like a curse. However, I am learning to leverage this trait to my advantage, or at least find ways to manage the overwhelming emotions that come with motherhood.
As a kid, I often internalized the negativity that floated between my parents. Their financial stress and marital conflicts weighed on me, making me anxious and distressed. When they fought, it was as if I were in the middle of the storm. I didn’t know what being an empath meant back then; I was simply labeled a crybaby. Now, as an adult, I understand that it’s crucial for an empath to prioritize self-care and develop coping strategies when faced with negativity.
But being an empath isn’t entirely negative. I am often a compassionate friend and share in the joy of others’ successes. When good things happen, I radiate happiness. Conversely, when circumstances take a turn for the worse, I can spiral into anxiety, often unsure of the root cause of my foul mood. I’ve learned to step back, analyze my feelings, and avoid internalizing the emotional turmoil of others.
As a mom to three energetic kids, navigating this emotional landscape is no small feat. My household includes a moody tween, a middle child swinging between happiness and anxiety, and a preschooler who can flip from giggles to tantrums in seconds flat. The emotional roller coaster can be exhausting. Often, I just crave an hour (or maybe even twelve) to recharge without feeling everything so deeply. Unfortunately, the role of mom doesn’t typically allow for such escapes. I find myself at the center of family dynamics, responsible for balancing the emotional states of five different people, which can be daunting.
I must remain vigilant to avoid getting swept up in the emotional chaos of my children. Their pain and struggles can weigh heavily on me, lingering long after the issue has passed. If one of my kids is throwing a fit, it can drastically shift my own mood. Learning to detach from their feelings has been a crucial strategy, but it’s a constant battle against intense emotions that sometimes feels relentless.
For those who may not identify as empaths, it might be difficult to understand this struggle. You might view me as a bit of a hot mess, while I am fighting an ongoing battle to manage my emotional responses. Even a simple phone call with bad news can set the tone for my week, and at 40, I still grapple with the urge to become entangled in my parents’ issues, echoing the same feelings I had as a child.
However, I’m discovering that finding balance is essential for living my best life as an empath. Carving out time for self-care and moments of retreat is not just beneficial; it’s necessary for the well-being of the entire family. Detaching from my children’s intense emotions occasionally helps me remain calm and composed, allowing me to face challenges head-on without becoming overly immersed in the emotional swells around me.
I cherish my ability to connect deeply and provide love and support to others—it’s a genuine gift. Yet, I also crave moments of respite where I don’t feel the weight of the world crashing down over minor mishaps, like my toddler’s disappointment over sandwich shapes. This duality of being an empath can indeed feel like a curse.
In summary, being the family empath is a complex journey of deep emotions, challenges, and the pursuit of balance. It’s essential to embrace self-care and recognize that sometimes, stepping back is the best way to support those we love.