My son has been sleeping on the floor since January. Now, as we approach December, that reality has settled in.
So, why is he sleeping on the floor? I wish I could present a medical or psychological explanation, but the truth is, I’m not entirely sure. This all began during potty training.
(Doesn’t everything seem to stem from potty training?)
Amid the chaos of caring for a newborn and cleaning up the bathroom between diaper changes, my then two-and-a-half-year-old began rejecting his bed. Strange, right?
You hear all sorts of things can happen during potty training:
- Your child might experience constipation.
- They could turn into a little monster.
- Emotional and intellectual regression is possible.
- Sleep patterns may change.
- Their appetite might fluctuate.
It felt normal, in a way, that he chose to sleep on the floor, given the upheaval in his world. I tried to be understanding—after all, he had a new baby brother and was suddenly expected to use a toilet. Life can be tough.
So we let him sleep on the floor, thinking it was just a phase. Weeks turned into months, and before we knew it, it had been 11 and a half months. Here we are, nearly a year later.
Initially, I wasn’t so accepting of this situation. We attempted numerous strategies to encourage him back into bed. We offered rewards, moved his bed closer to the door, and even let him sleep with his twinkling lights on. We tried taking away privileges, telling him that if he didn’t sleep in his bed, there would be no TV the next day. He went two weeks without watching a single minute of television—more of a punishment for me, if I’m honest. Nothing worked.
No matter our efforts, he would always choose the floor over his bed, curling up next to the door on his favorite blue blanket, which he had meticulously laid out like a makeshift mattress.
After a while, we stopped tucking him into bed altogether. Instead, we would kneel beside him on the floor, planting a kiss on his cheek before closing the door just inches from his face. (The pre-parent me would have been appalled.)
But that’s the essence of parenthood, isn’t it? There are times when we stand firm on certain issues, and other moments when we lay down beside our child on the floor, carefully placing their favorite toy under their arm.
When asked why he sleeps on the floor, my son simply shrugs and says, “I like sleeping on the floor.”
Fair enough.
After several stages of acceptance, my husband and I have finally reached a comfortable understanding: This is not a battle worth engaging in.
Sure, we could physically move him back to bed multiple times a night until he concedes. We could strip him of all his privileges and make his life miserable until he complies with our bedtime preferences. (And yes, we did consider that option for a brief moment.)
But we’ve chosen to let it go.
Much of parenting hinges on discernment. Am I making the right choice? Am I being negligent? Am I overly cautious? I frequently reflect on these questions, but a significant aspect of discernment also involves asking: Is this a battle worth fighting?
Here’s what I know: My son has a safe roof over his head, warm pajamas, and a cozy carpet underfoot. He goes to bed with a full tummy and, for the most part, clean teeth. He possesses so much more than many children worldwide.
So, if he prefers sleeping on the floor and it doesn’t harm anyone, and if he is still getting sleep (mostly), then what’s the big deal? If he chooses to have granola bars and raspberries for dinner instead of the nutritious pasta I prepared, is it really the end of the world? He’s nourished, and his pediatrician reassures me that he’s growing just fine.
My child is 3, sleeps on the floor nightly, and often dines on granola bars. Do I wish he would sleep in his bed and eat a variety of vegetables? Absolutely. Have I attempted various methods to change this behavior? Without a doubt. Am I ready to battle him every day over these issues? Not really.
So, what battles are worth fighting?
In our household, a few principles stand out. Kindness and respect are paramount. We practice kindness toward ourselves and others, respect for people and our belongings, and appreciation for the earth. We share, tell the truth, help one another, and avoid greed and selfishness. We express our gratitude and apologize when necessary.
When our son shows unkindness, my husband and I don our armor, ready to tackle that issue head-on. We won’t back down in that arena. When it comes to kindness and respect, we are anything but indifferent.
For those of us raising young children, we encounter daily opportunities to choose our battles. Maybe your child sleeps on the floor, insists on crackers for lunch, or wears a princess costume every day for a week. Maybe your child is simply unique.
That’s perfectly okay.
My child is 3 and a bit quirky, but I’m committed to ensuring he grows up to be kind. And honestly, that’s all I hope for your child as well. Your little one can come over dressed in costume, armed with snacks, and I will embrace their uniqueness wholeheartedly.
I anticipate my son will eventually transition to sleeping in his bed before college. Until then, we’ve decided to buy him a sleeping bag for Christmas.