For years, my children have debated who holds my affection more. One moment, my daughter is convinced that her brother is the favorite; the next, he’s sulking, certain that I love her more. Each time, I reassure them that my love for both is equal, acknowledging their unique strengths without favoritism. However, one sunny afternoon during quarantine, after they had been playing in the backyard while I immersed myself in work on my laptop, they confronted me with a statement that struck a painful chord: “You love your computer more than you love us.”
That hit hard. I turned away from my screen, cluttered with multiple documents and numerous tabs, and insisted that my love for them surpassed any attachment I had to my computer. “But you’re always on it,” they argued. “You’re not playing with us. You’re always working.” Ouch again. Their words tugged painfully at my heart.
I reassured them, reiterating they were my everything, but soon they shifted from guilt-inducing comments to typical requests for snacks and screen time. I obliged, but as they went inside, I found myself staring at a darkened screen.
I don’t genuinely love my computer more than my kids, but I understand why they might feel that way. Before the pandemic, I wrote during school hours while they engaged with friends and activities. Now, my work hours came after their virtual classes, leading to me asking them to entertain themselves while I focused on my computer.
Part of the situation is unavoidable. I’ve had to add “homeschooling” to my already packed schedule. But if I’m honest, I’ve also buried myself deeper into work, taking on additional freelance projects to relieve the pressure of being a full-time parent. It’s not that I prefer my computer over my children, but stepping into my “writer” role gives me a break from the “mom” responsibilities that often feel overwhelming, especially with no partner to share the load.
My kids are grappling with the challenges of homeschooling and missing their normal routines. They require my presence now more than ever, but I can’t maintain my “mom” persona constantly, especially in these uncertain times. The burden of never taking off the “mom” hat is simply too great, and I’ve leaned into my work as a coping mechanism.
Shifting between “mom” and “writer” hats has made me realize I need balance. Perhaps instead of immediately switching to my “writer” hat when overwhelmed, I should have been transparent with my kids about needing time to recharge. They should learn the importance of simply being, not always doing.
So, I decided to take off my “writer” hat, leaving the “mom” hat to the side, and joined my kids for their snacks and screen time. Maybe they were more clever than I gave them credit for, knowing just what to say to coax me into their requests.
In the end, the balance between work and motherhood is crucial, and acknowledging our needs during these times is essential. If you’re interested in more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this informative post on Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, you can delve into the expertise offered at Intracervical Insemination, and for further resources on infertility, visit Mount Sinai.
To summarize, it’s vital to recognize the balance between parenting and personal time, especially during challenging circumstances like a pandemic. Engaging with our children while also taking care of our own needs is essential for maintaining a healthy family dynamic.