Inspired by the sibling dynamics of childhood, these reflections echo the experiences of many families, much like Judy Blume’s classic.
THE ANNOYANCE
My brother is truly an annoyance. He sprawls on Mom’s couch every night, even though he has a perfectly good room with a huge bunk bed all to himself. I have to stick to my own bed simply because I’m older, which feels totally unfair since I had my own room at his age.
Every morning, he wakes up first, which means he chooses the show, and I’m stuck watching things like “Superheroes” and “Galactic Adventures,” neither of which I really enjoy. Plus, he hogs the blanket, leaving my legs cold even though I’m in a nightgown while he wears pajamas with bottoms that keep him warm.
He should be able to pick out his own clothes like I do. He’s five and heading to kindergarten; that’s old enough to choose an outfit, just like me. But he’s so slow that Mom has to help him, or he’d never be ready on time.
He cries when I pinch him, even if he started it by hitting me first. Then Mom gets angry and scolds me, even though I was just responding to him. So what if my pinch is a little harder? I’m just stronger.
At dinner, I’m expected to eat seven bites of new food because I’m seven, yet he only has to manage one or two being five, which makes zero sense. He blows bubbles in his milk, but I’m the one who gets in trouble when mine spills over because my bubbles are bigger. It’s not my fault I can fit more air in my cheeks!
When he plays sports, Mom and Dad are always so impressed with his mediocre hits, acting like it’s the biggest deal ever. I’m just saving my energy for when I really need it—like dealing with him.
His bear smells like old sneakers, yet Mom insists it’s the best stuffed animal around, while I adore my stuffed animals just as much. And I know they aren’t real.
I just can’t understand how Mom can think The Annoyance is sweet and charming. She’s forever kissing him, hugging him, and doing all sorts of gross things like that. Dad claims The Annoyance is so cool. Yuck! I think they love him more than me.