Why do celebrities seem to breeze through pregnancy with such ease? Honestly, it’s time to put an end to that illusion. They always appear stunning—like, all the time. For me? Not so much. As a mom of two—one son and one daughter—I can assure you that my experience wasn’t all about picturesque baby bumps and trendy maternity wear. There were definitely some stages in my journey that I would have preferred to skip entirely. If you’ve ever brought a life into this world, you definitely know what I mean.
Just as there are multiple phases in your baby’s growth, your belly embarks on its own journey filled with ups and downs.
Stage One
I’m pregnant!! Time to dive into stretch mark prevention tips, stock up on cocoa butter, indulge in a maternity shopping spree, and capture a few last moments of my pre-baby belly for social media. A beautiful life is blossoming inside of me. I am the embodiment of Mother Nature!
Stage Two
Alright, it’s been three months, and where is my baby bump? Seriously, where is it? I feel completely drained and nauseous, yet there’s no visible sign of the little one causing this chaos.
SHOW ME THE BELLY!
Stage Three
I know I wanted a baby bump, but what is this? This isn’t a cute belly; it’s just extra flab. I look overweight. People are glancing at me as if they’re unsure whether to congratulate me or suggest I limit my candy intake. This is not what I envisioned. #Notfair
I guess the only sensible thing to do is to post on Instagram, showcasing pictures of fruits that match my baby’s size next to my rounded belly, proving to everyone that I am indeed pregnant.
Stage Four
The belly has finally arrived!! I HAVE POPPED, and the baby is showing! Look at my beautiful bump!
I’m absolutely rocking this pregnancy journey.
Stage Five
Uh-oh, okay, the belly can stop growing now. Seriously, just stop. I expected a bump, but not this much of a bump. With two months still to go, people keep asking me if I’m having twins. I AM NOT HAVING TWINS, and if you keep saying that, we are no longer friends.
There’s no way I can grow much larger than this. I’ll probably deliver early…yes, that’s what will happen.
Stage Six
It’s official: someone call the museum—I’m a spectacle! Is my doctor sure I’m not carrying twins? I look like I might be! My belly is moving a lot. Yikes, that’s kind of creepy.
What on earth is happening in there?! Also, those deceptive cocoa butter bottles? They all lied! I have stretch marks from my thighs to my breasts, and even they have seemingly doubled in size. I want a refund. #Ripoff
Stage Seven
Oh. My. Gosh. I need assistance.
I had the baby… I think. I mean, I definitely felt everything, but I still look pregnant, somewhat. My belly feels like a deflated muffin top filled with jelly.
I’m destined to live in maternity clothes forever, and if anyone dares to post a picture of me on social media, there will be consequences.
Stage Eight (and one year later)
Well, hello there, belly. I think I recognize you from way back when, but you look a bit different now, complete with what some moms affectionately call “tiger stripes” (I guess I’ve earned those). You’re looking pretty good considering all you’ve endured.
So, belly… are you ready for another tenant? I hear baby bumps are in vogue these days.
This article was originally published on August 12, 2015.
For more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. If you’re interested in learning more about at-home insemination options, you can explore our other blog post about the artificial insemination kit. For expert advice, visit this link that discusses nursing excellence.
Summary
Pregnancy is a journey filled with various stages that every expecting mother experiences—ranging from excitement and anticipation to insecurity and disbelief. Each phase of your belly’s transformation reflects the ups and downs of this incredible journey, ultimately leading to a new and beautiful life.