Pregnancy is a unique journey that can be as tumultuous for the partner as it is for the expectant mother. After sharing a popular list about the struggles of pregnancy, my old friend, Tom Baker, felt inspired to create a counter-list titled “The Top Ten Toughest Things About Being Married to a Pregnant Woman.” I approached my husband about contributing, but he wisely chose to abstain from diving into those choppy waters—especially since he’s navigating the emotional rollercoaster of having a pregnant wife who once sobbed over a spilled smoothie. So, with Tom’s brave insights, let’s explore the trials of supporting a pregnant partner.
- Extreme Mood Swings: The charming woman you married suddenly exhibits mood swings reminiscent of a heavyweight fighter. During her first pregnancy, my wife asked me to vacuum on a Friday night. I got sidetracked, and by Sunday, I was engrossed in a game while the vacuum sat idle in the living room. When I finally got around to it, she erupted with a fury that could rival a storm. It ended with her throwing the vacuum at me and demanding I clean the carpet immediately, leaving me bewildered and cleaning for the next half hour.
- Breastfeeding Classes: Like many soon-to-be dads, I found myself roped into attending a breastfeeding workshop on a Saturday during college football season. While I appreciate the anatomy, a full day of lectures on how to use breasts felt excessive. One dad even inquired about his partner’s sore nipples, which left me questioning my own sanity.
- Misunderstood Compliments: Be careful when responding to your wife’s insecurities about her body. Even the most well-intentioned compliments can backfire spectacularly. If you’re out shopping and she asks, “Do I look as pregnant as her?”, the best reaction is to sprint away yelling about your own misfortunes.
- Baby Showers: Attending baby showers is a trial of endurance. Imagine being at a gathering filled with unfamiliar faces, opening gifts you couldn’t care less about, all while missing a crucial game. By the third child, I felt like a spectator in a never-ending circus.
- Doctor Visits: These obligatory appointments can feel awkward. Sitting in a waiting room filled with pregnant women while your partner anxiously awaits her turn tends to bring about a sense of discomfort, especially when the doctor rushes through the visit and still bills you like it was a full consultation.
- Choosing a Name: The pressure of naming your child can be overwhelming. You spend hours deliberating over names, only for the little one to arrive and somehow not fit any of the options. My youngest is Andrew Dalton, but he’s always been known as AD—a name I stumbled upon after holding him for the first time.
- Cravings: While you may find hotdogs dipped in Kool-Aid powder bizarre, it’s not an invitation for you to join in. And if she claims your double cheeseburger smells terrible, it’s best to eat it away from her presence.
- Intimacy: Yes, this is a sensitive topic, but it needs mentioning. The idea of intimacy while your unborn child is merely inches away can feel unsettling. As the pregnancy progresses, intimacy becomes less of a priority, trailing behind the kids and other responsibilities.
- Breast Changes: While pregnancy might offer a glimpse of a more voluptuous partner, it often comes with rules. You can look but not touch, which can be infuriating considering the transformation they undergo. Unfortunately, those changes often revert after childbirth.
- Nightmares: My wife had nighttime episodes that would rattle anyone. A blood-curdling scream in the middle of the night felt like a scene from a horror film, leaving me startled and confused, only to find her grumbling at me for waking her up.
So there you have it, future moms. This list gives insight into what your partner might really think behind that nervous grin during your nine-month journey. If you feel the urge to express your frustrations, let it out, but maybe not by throwing a vacuum cleaner—Tom is already in hiding.
For more information on the journey of pregnancy, visit resources like CCRM IVF’s blog for insights into your experience or check out Dr. Greene’s expertise for helpful guidance. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, take a look at the CryoBaby at-home insemination kit for a more personalized approach.
Summary
Navigating the challenges of being married to a pregnant woman can be a daunting experience filled with mood swings, unexpected classes, and the joy of baby showers. While the journey can be fraught with difficulties, understanding and communication will help both partners adapt to this transformative phase.