Updated: Jan. 21, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 21, 2023
We gathered in a circle, some perched on metal folding chairs, while others sank into well-worn floral couches that likely dated back to the 1980s. As I scanned the room filled with mothers—some cradling their infants, others with toddlers—I found myself questioning, “What am I doing here?” I watched in disbelief as a little girl, barely two, wandered about the room, occasionally returning to her mother for a quick sip of breastmilk.
“It’s just a breast. Don’t gawk!” I chastised myself. “It’s her choice to nurse her toddler, even if it makes you uncomfortable.” These thoughts swirled in my mind as I tried to suppress my judgment of the women at this La Leche League meeting.
As a new mother, I sought guidance on how to nurse in public. I had a baby boy at home, and thankfully, our breastfeeding journey was going well. Yet, each time I nursed him in public, I couldn’t shake my self-consciousness, fumbling nervously with my nursing cover in a desperate attempt to maintain some modesty.
Coming from a legal background, I was used to a world of formality. Navigating motherhood, breastfeeding, and casual conversations about diapers was uncharted territory for me. At that La Leche League meeting, I felt like an outsider. Fortunately, my close friend, Amanda, agreed to join me (with a bit of persuasion) and, as we walked to our cars afterward, I remarked, “Can you believe the woman nursing that toddler? That’s wild. I could never do that.” Ah, the naive musings of a younger, more judgmental me.
Fast forward to today, and I’m the mother of three: a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 2-year-old, whom I am still nursing. In fact, I’ve been breastfeeding continuously for six years—through two pregnancies and even tandem nursing, with a baby on one side and a toddler on the other—before weaning my boys around the age of 3½. Yes, I nursed my children beyond the age of 3.
Here’s the kicker: I never subscribed to some extreme extended breastfeeding ideology. I didn’t join a club that advocated for nursing preschoolers, nor did I adhere to the notion that “all mothers must breastfeed for a certain number of years.” To be honest, I hold little regard for the so-called mommy wars. As long as a child is fed in a healthy and appropriate way, I’m all for it.
I’m just an ordinary mom, navigating the ups and downs of parenting like everyone else. I’m not part of any fringe movement; after attending a couple of meetings, I chose not to join the La Leche League. I simply do what feels right for my family. And while you may not need it, you have my full support to find what works best for yours—whether it’s bottle or breast. You know your child best.
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In summary, my journey through motherhood has been filled with unexpected choices and realizations. The judgments I once held have faded, replaced by an understanding that every mother’s experience is unique. I now embrace my role, nursing my children as long as it feels right for us while respecting the choices of others.