Let me tell you about a memorable experience I had during my annual OB-GYN check-up. Unlike many women, I actually look forward to this day. My doctor is fantastic—he delivered all four of my kids, which definitely earns him a special place in my heart. The staff is friendly, and I always feel at ease. So, I woke up excited and ready for my appointment.
I managed to sneak in a shower without any kids trailing after me, and I even remembered to lock the door. I have a daily routine of shaving my legs, and today was no different. However, I decided to use a new razor, and during my shaving session, I accidentally got a little too enthusiastic. The result? A scene reminiscent of the infamous “Psycho” shower moment—blood everywhere!
After quickly tending to the wound, I applied lotion to prevent my skin from resembling an alligator. I grabbed a large piece of toilet paper to help soak up the bleeding, and it stuck perfectly thanks to the lotion. Little did I know, I would forget all about it.
Oh, and did I mention I’m sporting a ridiculously expensive knee brace? It cost me nearly a mortgage payment, and it’s a constant reminder that my body is falling apart at 42. This brace means I can’t wear pants; I’m limited to dresses and shorts.
After getting dressed, I made my way to the hospital. I encountered a friendly guy in the elevator who was dressed casually due to some leg swelling. I assured him there was no need to worry. Once I reached the OB-GYN office, I went through the usual COVID screening process before heading in for my appointment.
Inside, I was greeted by a cheerful nurse who handed me the paperwork. After a quick chat about our kids, I was ready for my exam. My beloved doctor walked in, and as always, it was nice to see him. After a thorough examination, I left the office, waving goodbye to everyone.
Afterwards, I went to the breast center for a mammogram appointment. I made it to the parking lot and was almost to my car when I noticed something white trailing behind me. To my shock, it was toilet paper—an entire roll, no less—still attached to my leg! I had walked around the hospital and through two different buildings without noticing.
Despite the embarrassment, I couldn’t help but laugh. I immediately took a picture and shared it with my family in our group chat because, why not? Fourteen people had already seen me, so what was the harm?
Some might feel mortified and switch doctors after an experience like this, but not me. Instead, I’ll be sending a link to this story to my healthcare provider as soon as it goes live. I might also consider looking for a waxing specialist, or maybe just stick to using dull razors in the future.
For more amusing stories, check out this post from our blog, or explore the expertise at Intracervical Insemination for valuable insights on related topics. If you’re interested in pregnancy or home insemination, the CDC offers some fantastic resources.
Summary
In a humorous recount of a trip to the OB-GYN, Jamie Patterson shares her experience of accidentally walking around with toilet paper stuck to her leg after tending to a shaving mishap. Despite the embarrassment, she embraces the moment and shares it with family and friends, proving that laughter is the best medicine.
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