Parenting
By Jenna Smith
Updated: July 7, 2017
Originally Published: April 22, 2012
Eleven years ago, I was taken aback by the harsh realities of motherhood that became glaringly clear the moment I entered the club of parenting. As these realizations hit me, I often imagined the seasoned moms snickering in the background, whispering, “Look at that poor newbie… she just discovered she’ll never sleep soundly again” and “Ha! She thinks a few crunches will restore her abs… what a dreamer!” I admit I walked into this journey woefully misinformed, but I can’t be the only one shocked to learn that toddlers will, indeed, watch you pee. This brings me to the truths that “THEY,” those knowing moms, neglected to share before you embarked on this adventure.
This list stems from years of toddler negotiations, countless hours spent searching for misplaced uniforms, endless driving, and nearly a thousand sleepless nights. What follows are the essential insights that will catch you unprepared if you’re not in the know.
1. No Mother Has It All Figured Out.
Truth be told, every mother is just winging it, hoping for the best. If someone claims they have all the answers, they’re not being honest, and you might want to reconsider that friendship. (Except for Mom Bloggers, of course.)
2. Sleep Will Happen Again, But It Will Be Different.
You will eventually sleep again, but expect to do so with one ear attuned to the door, honing skills that rival any CIA agent. You’ll even be able to detect if your kid is sleepwalking or needs medicine while deep in REM sleep. It’s a strange, yet fascinating ability.
3. Sick Days Are a Myth.
Prepare to sign field trip forms while feeling ill, plan events while on painkillers, and tackle errands even when you’re battling the flu. Your well-being? Not a priority in this job. Accept this early on.
4. Find Your Mom Tribe ASAP.
As soon as your little one arrives, connect with fellow moms who share your outlook. Whether at the Mother Baby Unit or online, find that one mom who won’t judge your parenting choices. If she says she knows what she’s doing, run! But if she admits she doesn’t, hold on tight and share a glass of wine together. Call her when you need a listening ear.
5. Intimacy Can Feel Like Another Chore.
At times, sex becomes yet another item on your endless to-do list, right alongside tasks like “Make 25 Hello Kitty party favors” and “Unload the dishwasher.” While it’s important to nurture your relationship, it’s understandable if your mind wanders during the act. Just remember, laundry will always be there waiting.
6. You May Not Instantly Love Your Newborn.
When you bring your little one home, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and not immediately bond. This tiny being alters your world, making simple tasks difficult. It’s okay to admit you’re struggling with your new reality. Embracing this truth will lead you to new friendships.
7. Welcome to the World of Fibbing.
You’ll start spinning elaborate tales about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and other magical figures. You become a master at crafting stories to explain the inexplicable while expecting your children to be truthful. Consider making a list of hiding spots for the Elf on the Shelf; you’ll thank me later.
8. Every Product Can Be Harmful, According to the Hype.
From BPAs to organic foods, the advice is endless and often contradictory. Just do your best and ignore the judgment from others. Remember, no one truly knows what’s right for your family—only you do.
9. Your Wardrobe Will Change Drastically.
Post-childbirth, don’t be surprised if your undergarments favor “support” over “sexy.” Yoga pants and elastic waistbands will become your go-tos, and you’ll find yourself embracing styles you once mocked. It’s all part of the journey, so wear those Spanx with pride!
10. You’ll Be Adequate at This Parenting Gig.
The moment you meet your child, you’ll realize you’re capable of being a good mom. Mistakes will happen, and you may worry about the lasting effects of your missteps. Just give it your all, and if your kids aren’t thrilled with how you parent, they can navigate their own paths when they grow up.
While this list isn’t exhaustive, one thing’s for sure: I won’t be the one laughing behind your back. Instead, I’ll grab your arm, sit you down, and say, “Oh, dear, we need to chat…” while pouring you a generous glass of wine to help digest the realities of motherhood.
For more insights into parenting and to explore topics like artificial insemination, check out this helpful blog post. Additionally, for expert advice on infant sleep patterns, visit Understanding Your Baby’s Sleep Patterns. If you’re seeking resources on pregnancy and home insemination, News Medical is a great place to start.
In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with surprises, challenges, and moments of joy. Embrace the chaos, lean on your community, and remember you’re not alone in this adventure.