This summer, we proudly celebrated 28 years of marriage. Yes, 28! If you do the math, you’ll realize we tied the knot back in the ’80s, which explains the extravagant puffy sleeves on my wedding dress.
As we reach this stage in life, we notice many marriages around us showing signs of strain. Long-standing grievances and minor irritations can chip away at even the strongest relationships. So, I’ve decided to share the key principles that have kept our marriage thriving through life’s ups and downs, including raising two kids, welcoming two puppies, and moving between two different homes.
1. Let Go of Minor Annoyances
I know this phrase is borrowed from a popular self-help book, but it’s worth repeating. If you don’t like the way he hangs his towel, either overlook it or fix it yourself if it’s that important. His shoes on the floor aren’t a personal attack. We all have our quirks, and investing too much energy in trivial matters leaves little for addressing the larger issues that will inevitably arise.
2. Share Wisely
If you both use the same brand of toothpaste, go ahead and share a tube! But some items, like bath towels and undergarments, are best kept separate. It’s about finding the right balance.
3. Establish a Financial Plan
We’ve found a system that works for us, dividing finances into yours, mine, and ours. This approach prevents those annoying conversations about unnecessary purchases, allowing us both a little “mad money” for personal treats—like indulging in a MAC lip gloss or a secret stash of soda.
4. Never Take Each Other for Granted
In every long-lasting relationship, there are countless others that have faltered. Some partners leave for work and never return. Even on mundane days, my heart still races when I see my husband walk through the door, and I let him know. I appreciate his ability to fix things around the house, and he’s always impressed when I manage a DIY project without a pattern.
5. Embrace Time Apart
Although we spend a lot of time together, we also value our time apart. Whether it’s a girls’ night out or a business trip, being apart allows us to reconnect with fresh stories and experiences to share when we reunite. There might be some truth to the saying about “absence making the heart grow fonder.”
6. Set Goals Together
Having shared aspirations—whether it’s starting a business, training the puppy, or planning a vacation to Italy—can strengthen your bond. It gives you both something to work towards as a team.
7. See Each Other with Fresh Eyes
Try looking at your partner as if it’s the first time you’re meeting, or as if it’s the last time you’ll see them. This perspective can reveal so much and help you remember why you fell in love in the first place, especially amidst the chaos of daily life.
8. Connect Through Touch
Beyond the expected gestures, small, unexpected touches can create intimacy. Whether it’s running your fingers through his hair while he’s on the computer or giving him a quick hug in the grocery store, these simple acts keep us connected.
9. Find Humor in Everyday Life
Laughter is essential for marital happiness. My husband makes me laugh every day, whether it’s his silly jokes or his off-key singing. Even his random song bursts keep our life entertaining, and that’s what makes us unique.
10. Maintain Mutual Respect
Respect is the cornerstone of our marriage. We might not see eye to eye on everything, but our commitment to each other means we honor those differences. I might not understand his love for certain musicians or his taste in bananas, but we find a way to appreciate each other nonetheless.
Through these simple principles, we’ve managed not only to sustain our marriage but also to make it stronger over the years. Or maybe it’s just the puffy sleeves that did the trick!
For more information about navigating relationships, you can check out this insightful guide on couples’ fertility journeys. Additionally, if you’re looking for advice on keeping children safe, this resource on choking hazards is invaluable. For those expecting, March of Dimes provides excellent week-by-week pregnancy resources.
Summary
Maintaining a successful marriage for 28 years requires patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. By focusing on the big picture, respecting each other’s differences, and finding joy in the little things, couples can create a strong and lasting relationship.