By: Jamie Carter
Updated: Dec. 17, 2016
In today’s world, bullying has taken on a more blatant and aggressive form. Many individuals feel emboldened to hurl insults and derogatory comments at those they perceive as different or weaker. These bullies, lurking in schools, workplaces, and online, thrive on intimidation, fueled by their own insecurities and fears. They lash out to elevate their own sense of power while simultaneously making others feel small.
So, how do we navigate the complex issue of when to teach our kids to confront a bully versus when to walk away? My answer is clear: we should encourage them to always stand up for themselves and others.
Empowering Our Kids to Fight Back
No matter the circumstances, it’s vital to instill in our children the importance of fighting back, especially when they witness injustice. I firmly believe in using words as a tool for empowerment. While physical strength may not be on their side, the power of expression can be incredibly impactful. I am not an advocate for violence; instead, I emphasize the importance of using their voices to stand up against wrongdoing.
Recently, I witnessed a situation where an adult wanted to hug my daughter after she had given them a gift. Her body language screamed “no,” but she felt powerless to assert herself. I intervened, suggesting a fist bump instead, prioritizing her comfort over societal expectations of politeness. When we returned home, I reinforced the message that she never has to engage with anyone she doesn’t want to. We practiced various scenarios to ensure she felt confident in defending her boundaries.
Encouraging Advocacy for Others
Teaching our children to advocate for their peers is equally important. A recent incident at my son’s soccer practice highlighted this. A misunderstanding led to a coach unfairly punishing a child. My son, having witnessed the event, felt disheartened and powerless. After discussing the situation, he and his friends decided to stand up for the wronged child during the next practice, ultimately ensuring that he could play in the following game. This collective action fostered a sense of justice and camaraderie among them.
Giving Them a Voice, Even Against Us
It’s crucial for children to learn that their opinions matter, even when it comes to us as parents. If we make decisions they perceive as unfair, they should feel empowered to voice their concerns. When my son struggled with a math assignment, I initially reacted poorly. However, I realized that allowing him to confront his challenges and develop a plan to improve was far more valuable than simply punishing him. Celebrating his setbacks became a learning opportunity, showing him that failure can lead to growth.
These small actions and discussions can have a significant impact. This year, when a ban on running during recess was implemented due to safety concerns, the children rallied together to voice their discontent and sought a resolution with their principal. It was inspiring to see them advocate for what they believed was right.
Conclusion
By fostering an environment where children can assert themselves and support others, we can cultivate a generation that stands against bullying and injustice. As I grow older, I’m finding the courage to use my voice more openly, aiming to be a stronger role model for my kids. This is not the time for silence or complacency; it’s time to speak up, be heard, and create a culture of kindness and empowerment.
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Summary
In an age where bullying is rampant, it’s essential to teach our children how to stand up for themselves and others. By empowering them to use their voices, we help them develop self-confidence and a sense of justice. Small actions and discussions can lead to significant changes, fostering a kinder world for future generations.