My 10-year-old son recently learned to play Beethoven’s “Für Elise” on the piano all by himself. He took a few lessons last year, but when his father fell ill and our family dynamics shifted to a single-parent routine, his lessons had to stop. Despite that, he still finds time to play the piano every day.
Academically, he excels with straight A’s. He’s a skilled goalie for his soccer team and recently scored 8 points in a basketball game. He can solve any Rubik’s Cube presented to him and possesses a wealth of knowledge about the solar system. He even crafts handwritten thank-you notes and generally exhibits good behavior. I often contemplate how he might change the world someday, though the specifics elude me.
I share this not to boast, but as context for what follows.
Recently, one of my articles online received an avalanche of hateful comments directed at me and my children. A troubling number of outright malicious remarks were made. As a writer who openly shares her thoughts, I’ve developed a thick skin. I typically respond thoughtfully to criticism on my blog or sometimes choose to ignore it altogether. However, when comments involve my children, my patience wears thin.
One individual, whom I’ve never met, referred to my kids as “bastard children.” This was particularly painful given that my four little ones are still reeling from the loss of their father to cancer just two months prior. I know nothing about this woman—whether she is married, has children, or has experienced significant loss herself. While it would be unfair to judge her, I can’t help but ponder the implications of someone harboring such disdain for innocent children.
Another commenter suggested that I should not have had children, or at least not “so many,” if I “can’t control them.” This person has never witnessed the joy my son experiences after scoring at a game or the warmth in my daughters’ loving eyes. Such venomous words come from someone clearly not fond of children.
I anticipate the common responses: “Why do you care what strangers think?” “Don’t let them get to you.” Allow me to clarify: while I’ve developed a protective layer around my heart, my children haven’t. What troubles me most is the existence of individuals who exhibit such coldness and lack of empathy—those who, through their words and actions, teach their children to be cruel as well. This perpetuates a cycle that could unleash an entire generation of unkind individuals into the world.
Growing up, my mother often reminded me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” It seemed like a universal truth. In today’s digital age, where anonymity allows unfiltered commentary, I frequently wonder what drives people to be unkind. Is it acceptable to demean others under the pretext of “freedom of speech”? Shouldn’t we be instilling values of self-control and respect in our children, regardless of differing opinions? Perhaps my mother’s wisdom should be a law.
Watching my son play the piano daily, I am saddened by the thought that anyone could harbor negative feelings towards him. How could anyone criticize a boy whose life experiences are limited to riding bikes, building forts, and walking the dog? He embodies the innocence of childhood, still believing in kindness and goodness.
I know that soon—likely faster than I can imagine—he will face a world filled with unkindness. People will criticize him, tear him down, and belittle him. I also dread the thought of my daughters facing similar negativity. What unsettles me most is the realization that I cannot shield them from such experiences; no parent can.
However, we can teach our children the importance of kindness. We can show them not to judge others harshly. We can encourage them to smile at strangers instead of frowning at them. If they learn that not every opinion needs to be voiced—especially if it could hurt someone—we are nurturing future generations who will choose words of love over hate. By doing so, we cultivate individuals capable of changing the world.
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In summary, as parents, we have the power to instill kindness and empathy in our children, shaping them into the compassionate leaders of tomorrow.