Before I became a parent, I was unprepared for the ways my children would mirror both the positive and negative aspects of me and my partner. On those days when their behavior pushes me to my limits, I often see them reflecting traits I’ve grappled with, thanks to years of therapy. It’s a reminder that while raising strong-willed children can be challenging, it’s an investment that promises to yield resilient and independent adults.
Even the toughest days can be overshadowed by moments of joy—like belly laughs, sweet notes hidden in backpacks, or handmade gifts expressing affection. These small joys create a balance that helps parents survive and children grow over time.
I see resilience in my seven-year-old daughter, who recently faced a dilemma when a construction block kit was missing over 40 pieces. Instead of giving up and crying about the setback, she adapted by using her brother’s spare parts and even reached out to customer service for help, receiving a positive response. This made me envision her future as a capable corporate leader! However, her adaptability also has a downside.
As a natural problem-solver and peacemaker, I notice her often prioritizing others’ needs over her own. She tends to apologize frequently, a habit I wish to change. “I’m sorry” has become a constant refrain in our home. Whether she’s making muffins or adjusting the bed sheets, she finds a reason to apologize for minor issues that don’t warrant it.
While I value politeness and kindness, I don’t want her to feel the need to apologize for simply existing or for things beyond her control. This tendency to minimize herself is something she picked up from me, and it’s time to correct this pattern.
I first noticed her overuse of apologies around the age of four. Despite my attempts to explain that she doesn’t need to apologize for everything, it became apparent that she was mimicking what she heard. I even caught myself apologizing reflexively for asking her to lend a hand, reinforcing a cycle I’d like to break.
The conversation around women feeling the need to downplay their presence isn’t new. Even in professional settings, women often face pressure to be agreeable and avoid confrontation. I’ve been part of this narrative and, regrettably, have passed it on to my daughter.
The silver lining is that I’m raising a young girl who naturally seeks harmony and isn’t afraid to take responsibility. However, it’s my responsibility to teach her that she doesn’t need to accept blame for things that are not her fault. She should never have to apologize for her intelligence, strength, or presence.
My journey as her mother involves helping her learn the difference between genuine responsibility and unnecessary guilt. I need to guide her in expressing empathy without over-apologizing and to communicate assertively and with purpose. For more insights on empowerment and self-advocacy, explore this resource on fertility and the importance of self-advocacy in personal matters here. Meanwhile, if you’re interested in family planning, you can find helpful information about home insemination kits here. Additionally, check out this resource for essential summer tips.
In summary, the goal is to empower my daughter to embrace her individuality and assertiveness while minimizing unnecessary apologies.