“Is your little one sleeping through the night yet?”
Not even close. My 8-month-old is far from sleeping soundly all night long. And here comes the dreaded question: “Have you considered sleep training?”
To me, “sleep training” has become a euphemism for letting your baby cry it out until they’re hoarse, thrashing about, and making you question your parenting skills. Honestly, what loving mother could endure that? But let’s be real—I’m hitting a wall here. It’s past 4 a.m., and my baby is calling for me again for a snack. Eight months of this is driving me to the brink. I’m losing my grip, folks. I’ve started mixing orange juice into my coffee instead of cream. I can’t even tell if it’s day or night anymore. But the thought of sleep training? That sounds like a nightmare.
At least when I go into my baby’s room and nurse him, I know he’ll settle down. The crying is temporary, but with sleep training, the tales I hear are daunting. For some parents, the baby calms down after five minutes. For others, it stretches to 45 minutes, and some give up altogether.
Nothing compares to the heart-wrenching sound of my baby crying. It feels as if someone is tearing at my insides. I would take nails on a chalkboard over that sound any day. The cries of my own child bring me to tears and activate my fight-or-flight response. I have to make it stop. I have to comfort him! Sure, I can say it’s out of maternal instinct, but truthfully, it’s because my heart and every fiber of my being cannot endure that noise.
Then there’s my husband, my dear, blissfully unaware husband, snoring next to me. How does he not hear that piercing cry and rush to my side? Sometimes, I feign sleep, hoping he’ll wake up. I lie there, my anxiety building as I listen to my baby scream from across the hallway.
I keep checking the clock, and those long minutes feel like an eternity. I wonder if he’s hurt or if I’m causing him psychological damage. Will a future therapist attribute his fear of abandonment to this?
Finally, after what feels like the longest 13 minutes of my life, I bolt out of bed and rush to my son’s side, ready to nurse him like it’s my last resort. It’s 4 a.m., and my willpower is still fast asleep with my husband. My resolve has vanished. What’s one more night without sleep?
Once again, the idea of sleep training has bested me. Perhaps I’ll attempt it again tomorrow. Then again, I’m too exhausted to care right now.
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In summary, navigating the challenges of sleep training while caring for an infant can feel overwhelming and exhausting. While many parents find success with various methods, the emotional toll of listening to a crying baby is profound. Each night brings a new struggle, leaving caregivers to question their resolve and whether to persist in their efforts.