A few years back, I found myself at the playground with my toddler after a chaotic day filled with the usual demands—getting his older brother to school, cleaning endless messes, helping with potty training, and navigating multiple meltdowns. To top it all off, the afternoon nap I had hoped for turned into a complete bust. By the time we arrived at the park, I was utterly exhausted. Yet, for the first time that day, my son was happily playing on his own. So, like many modern parents, I took a moment for myself. I settled on a bench, took a few deep breaths, and pulled out my phone.
As a lactation consultant and writer, my work often intertwines with my parenting duties. With childcare costs skyrocketing, many parents find it essential to juggle work while keeping an eye on their kids. While my son explored the playground, I attempted to catch up on emails and queries that had accumulated throughout the day.
Suddenly, an older lady strolled past and loudly remarked, “Parents these days, always glued to their phones. Pfffffff…” My heart sank; I felt exposed, as if her comment was directed right at me. She walked away, but her words lingered, and I couldn’t shake the sting.
I was merely trying to manage my responsibilities while ensuring my son was safe and happy. The hurt morphed into frustration. Who was she to judge my life in just a brief moment? She had no idea about the whirlwind of my day or the countless tasks I accomplished for my family.
This memory resurfaced recently when I stumbled upon a meme that perfectly encapsulated the issue. It reminded me: when you see a mother on her phone, you’re glimpsing just a small fraction of her life. Perhaps it’s a rare moment of quiet, or she might be addressing an urgent work matter. Whatever the reason, it’s not your place to judge.
As The Leaky Boob aptly noted, “Phone-shaming is one of society’s favorite ways to shame moms.” And it’s time for that to change.
Shaming mothers for using their phones sends the message that prioritizing their own needs or careers is unacceptable. It falsely suggests that successful parenting means being constantly available and attentive, which is not only unrealistic but damaging to a mother’s mental health.
Consider this: when fathers use their phones while caring for their children, they often receive understanding and support. They’re praised for multitasking or “babysitting.” Why should mothers be treated any differently? If you see a mom on her phone, the kindest response is to either keep quiet, offer a knowing nod, or acknowledge her efforts.
Moms deserve empathy, encouragement, and a break from judgment. Instead of criticizing, let’s uplift one another. Compliment a mom when you see her in action, or simply lend a listening ear when she needs to vent.
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In summary, let’s foster a culture where mothers are not judged for their phone usage, but rather supported in their multitasking efforts. A little compassion can go a long way.