After welcoming our first child into the world, my partner and I enjoyed several blissful weeks as we adjusted to parenthood. We felt invincible, ready to tackle any challenge. Our extensive reading on parenting had prepared us for various scenarios, from mastering cloth diapers and homemade baby food to understanding car seat safety and considering future parenting dilemmas like discipline and teenage dating.
We were convinced we would excel at this parenting journey. But then, one evening, our little boy began to cry. This was no ordinary cry; it escalated into frantic wails, his face turning an alarming shade of red, and his tiny hands flailing helplessly. It was agonizing. We panicked and checked him for signs of illness or injury, but found nothing. We rocked, sang, and even took him for a drive, but nothing calmed him down.
We thought that first night was an anomaly, but we quickly learned we were mistaken. Our poor baby suffered from colic, and the crying persisted—hour after hour—for three long months. Imagine the strain of enduring excessive crying daily while grappling with sleep deprivation. I had heard that the cries of infants are used to train Navy SEALs to withstand torture; I believed it.
Colic turned our home upside down and made us question our ability to meet our child’s needs. Our dreams of a predictable sleep schedule were dashed as we tried unsuccessfully to soothe our baby. When I reached out to our pediatrician for help, I was met with the dismissive notion that colic was simply a normal phase of infancy. (Normal? Nothing about those relentless screams felt normal!) They assured me it would eventually pass, likening it to the Murphy’s Law of parenthood. “You’ll look back and laugh at this when you face the bigger challenges,” the nurse chuckled. I hung up feeling defeated.
In my desperate search for solutions, I turned to various mom groups on social media, joining countless groups as I sought advice on how to ease my child’s fussiness. I was bombarded with suggestions ranging from eliminating lactose from my diet to accusations against formula. One mother even tried to sell me an amber necklace, claiming it had magical soothing properties. I quickly realized that finding real support was a challenge.
The colic continued to wear us down. My partner and I took turns pacing the floor, bouncing and shushing for hours on end. We tried everything: swaddling, Moby Wraps, essential oils, warm baths, soothing music—all while exchanging exhausted glances. It felt like the colic was relentless.
The most painful aspect of this experience was feeling unheard. The hours of inconsolable crying, despite our best efforts, left us scared and worried. Shouldn’t this be taken seriously? Everyone we spoke to seemed to treat colic as an expected nuisance that would soon be replaced with other parenting challenges, like picky eating or the terrible twos. But deep down, I knew my baby was in distress. And that feeling of helplessness was the hardest to bear.
Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, the colic subsided, and our child established a more predictable sleep routine. I came to recognize that parenthood is an adventure filled with challenges, but I will never forget the isolation and fear that accompanied those colicky months. Colic is an experience that stays with you.
Parents don’t need to hear that they should switch feeding methods or that “this is just a phase.” When facing colic, such reassurances are the least helpful. Caregivers in the throes of colic need validation for their fears and frustrations, as well as assurance that they are not alone in their emotions of exhaustion and despair.
While I now understand that colic wouldn’t have lasting effects on my son, having just one person acknowledge our struggles could have made a monumental difference. So, please, if you encounter a parent dealing with a colicky baby, refrain from saying it’s just a phase. That’s the last thing they need to hear.
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In summary, colic is an intense and challenging experience for parents, and the emotional toll it takes cannot be understated. Instead of dismissing it, we should offer understanding and support to those navigating this difficult phase.