“What are those first few months really like?” my friend Ava inquires as we sit in my living room, my little one darting around us. I chuckle at my child’s antics and glance at Ava, who is married but hasn’t yet become a parent. Still, she and her husband are planning to start a family soon. So, I ask her, “How candid do you want me to be?” To me, it’s crucial to share the unfiltered truth about motherhood, especially those initial days, as there’s a severe lack of representation that illustrates the challenges new moms face.
Contrary to the heartwarming narratives often portrayed in media, early motherhood can be incredibly tough. Yes, you have this adorable baby, but the struggles that come with it are real. A postpartum product brand, Frida Mom, created a powerful ad that captures the raw challenges of new mothers. The commercial features a mom waking up to her crying newborn, only to face the overwhelming reality of postpartum life—complete with mesh underwear and peri-bottles. This is the truth of motherhood, and witnessing these authentic images not only prepares us but also fosters a sense of community.
Shockingly, this ad was banned from airing during the Oscars. In a statement on their YouTube channel, Frida Mom explained, “The ad you’re about to watch was rejected by ABC & the Oscars. It’s not violent, political, or sexual in nature. It simply shows a new mom navigating her reality.” This ban raises critical questions about why new mothers feel so unprepared when the reality of their experiences is swept under the rug.
Media portrayals of new motherhood swing between overly sentimental and deeply despairing, leaving no room for the authentic middle ground where most of us reside. While bonding with your newborn is undeniably beautiful, the physical and emotional turmoil can be overwhelming. Acknowledging these difficult feelings is essential, as they are perfectly normal.
The significance of the Frida Mom ad cannot be overstated. I often wish someone had given me an unvarnished account of what to expect. Everything hurt—simple tasks like using the bathroom became daunting. I didn’t experience tearing, but the reality of childbirth felt immense nonetheless. And let’s be real—attempting to have a bowel movement was a nightmare. I learned the hard way to never skip the stool softeners, regardless of how good I might feel.
Engaging in honest conversations about early motherhood is vital. Those initial days can be isolating, making it easy to withdraw from social interactions. You might feel bloated, crampy, and completely spent, while every piece of clothing you own is likely stained with baby vomit. Many new moms don’t shower regularly because they simply lack the time or energy. But guess what? This is all completely normal.
If society embraced the unfiltered truth about motherhood, those early days would feel much less lonely. Too many mothers think they are the only ones struggling. By depicting the harsh realities of early motherhood, we can address numerous problems that arise from the stigma surrounding this phase.
When I became a new mom, I was taken aback by the harshness of those early weeks. I was functioning on little sleep, feeling disheveled, and struggling with breastfeeding, even though my baby took to it naturally. Despite having friends who were also navigating new motherhood, we rarely discussed these challenges. It’s heartbreaking to consider how many women suffer in silence, believing they are alone.
Now that I have moved past that overwhelming phase, I prioritize being honest with friends who have yet to experience motherhood. I ensure they understand that whatever they are facing is normal. Yes, it’s hard, and admitting that does not make them bad mothers. Recognizing the difficulty of their experiences is a sign of strength. If knowing they aren’t alone brings them even a shred of comfort, I feel I am contributing positively.
We must honor the early stages of motherhood. They are never easy, and the stigma surrounding them needs to be dismantled. Brutally honest discussions about motherhood are the only way to alleviate mom guilt. Mothers have been silently suffering for too long, and it’s time to change that. We owe it to ourselves and each other to engage in more open dialogues about the realities of motherhood. It’s not always about sunshine and rainbows; often, it’s about holding on by a thread.
For more insights on navigating early motherhood, check out our previous post here. Additionally, for those seeking reliable information, resources such as the CDC on infertility can be invaluable, and for second-time parents, this site offers expert advice.
In summary, it’s essential to break the silence surrounding the struggles of new motherhood. By fostering honest conversations, we can support one another and create a community where mothers feel understood and less isolated. Let’s work toward a future where the complexities of early motherhood are acknowledged and embraced.