“It must be tough for your husband!”
“Are you planning to try for a boy?”
“Another girl?! Good luck with that!”
Yes, we’re thrilled to announce that we’re expecting our third daughter, and these are some of the comments my partner has been receiving—all meant in good humor, I suppose. While he chuckles at these remarks, I want to take a moment to clarify a few things.
My “poor” partner? More like my incredibly fortunate partner. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by such strong, beautiful girls? Let’s be real—there are numerous advantages to being a “girl dad.”
Growing up as the oldest in a family of five boys and one girl, my partner has found himself navigating the waters of a household filled with female energy. Although this is new territory for him, he has embraced it with open arms. He might joke about not being the emotional type, yet being a dad to daughters has brought out a softer, more compassionate side of him. He’s become increasingly understanding, patient, and empathetic. While I can’t say these qualities wouldn’t have emerged had we had boys, raising girls has certainly encouraged him to view things from a different perspective.
Sure, my partner faces new challenges as he learns to navigate emotional outbursts and the inevitable teenage drama in the years to come. But let’s consider what he’s gaining—most importantly, the trust and admiration of the incredible women in his life. When our daughters run to him for cuddles or express their love, I’m pretty sure he feels like the luckiest guy around.
Would we think about having more children? Perhaps. But it’s not because we feel incomplete without a son. Two particular points annoy me about these comments.
First, those making these remarks likely don’t understand our journey to parenthood. What if we had difficulties conceiving? What if it was against medical advice for us to have more children? We’ve been fortunate with healthy pregnancies and babies so far, but many have faced far more challenging situations. You can never know how your seemingly innocent comments might affect someone else.
Second, my partner isn’t just surrounded by princesses and pink. He’s teaching the girls how to swing a bat and throw a ball. They host rock concerts in the living room and (to my chagrin) love watching WWE wrestling—practicing their moves on dad, of course. He doesn’t adhere to strict gender norms in parenting—he’d probably lose his mind if he did—so hopefully our daughters won’t feel confined by stereotypes either.
My partner doesn’t need luck to continue being an amazing father. Good parenting is a learned skill, and he’s been doing remarkably well with our first two daughters. I’ve seen him master the art of coordinating floral patterns, perfecting ponytails, and singing along to every song from Beauty and the Beast. He’s even gearing up for Frozen II, although he may not admit it. He’s become skilled at distinguishing between real and fake tears and saying no to “Pretty please, Daddy?”
Every day brings new lessons. While gender may influence parenting styles, raising girls is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Our daughters, despite sharing the same gender, are each unique. What works for one won’t necessarily work for the other. My partner has learned when to comfort with a hug, when to encourage deep breaths, and when to implement a time out. He knows how to manage mealtime dynamics—balancing the one who devours her food with the one who chats endlessly. He’s skillfully navigated disputes over an Elsa doll and tantrums over footwear choices in the rain. But guess what? These aren’t problems exclusive to raising girls; any parent can encounter them.
So, while we might appreciate a little luck with the lottery, in parenting, we’ll focus on love and skills.
If you’ve ever made a joke about our family’s gender dynamics, it’s all good—we understand. This isn’t meant to criticize lighthearted jokes but to express our gratitude for the support we receive. As we welcome our third daughter, rest assured that my partner is doing just fine. In fact, I believe he’ll thrive. And if he ever needs a break from tea parties, feel free to take him out for a beer.
For more insights into family preparation, check out this resource. And if you want to delve deeper into the topic of misogyny in parenting, you can read more here. For excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, see this link.
Summary
In a light-hearted take on societal comments about having daughters, the author defends her partner’s experience as a dad to girls, highlighting the strengths and joys that come with it. The piece emphasizes the importance of understanding individual family journeys and challenges stereotypes associated with gender in parenting.