“An elephant for a nickel is only a bargain if you actually need an elephant and have the nickel to spend.” My partner often shares this age-old wisdom with our kids, and honestly, it resonates deeply with our current situation. We’re struggling financially, and despite our best efforts, saving money feels like an impossible task. The concept of an emergency fund, that safety net we hear about, seems out of reach.
We’re aware that we belong to the working-poor demographic, and we put in a tremendous effort for the little we do have. Still, many people seem to equate poverty with laziness, suggesting that if we just worked harder, we could easily save money. This perspective is frustrating and far from the truth.
In “To Kill a Mockingbird,” Atticus Finch famously said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” So, allow me to share my perspective with you.
Needs vs. Wants
In our household, the ongoing debate over needs versus wants is a daily reality. What we consider essential is vastly different from the views of middle-class and affluent families. For instance, internet access might be seen as a luxury for some, while we view it as a necessity for keeping our lives organized. Items like Starbucks coffee, trendy leggings, and the latest smartphones? Those are definitely wants, not needs.
My partner and I put in nearly 100 hours of work each week combined, just to secure safe housing, nourishing food, medical care, clothing, and transportation. Everything else falls to the wayside. Our date nights consist of cozy evenings on the couch after the kids are asleep, and our holiday celebrations often involve asking for one or two practical items, like socks, to gift each other—while cleverly wrapping them for the kids to believe in the magic of Christmas. Birthday celebrations? We host simple backyard gatherings with hot dogs instead of lavish parties.
I proudly call my wardrobe a “capsule wardrobe,” which is a fancy way of saying I can only afford three pairs of pants.
Simply put, we cannot save what we don’t have. We try relentlessly to find ways to cut expenses. It’s easy to remind ourselves that we don’t need an elephant, but unfortunately, we also don’t have that nickel to spare.
The Struggle for Assistance
For years, we’ve navigated the process of applying for assistance at local charities, sometimes even resorting to raiding our children’s piggy banks just to buy enough groceries to last until payday—ironically while teaching them the value of saving. It’s painful to admit we feel shame; who wouldn’t in a society that perpetuates the myth that hard work guarantees success? Despite juggling multiple jobs and trimming every budget line, the reality of the so-called American Dream feels far from our grasp.
Yes, we are poor, but we also recognize that many families are in worse circumstances. We have a warm, safe home that feels like a haven. While my children might not know the thrill of vacations or visits to amusement parks, we find joy in creative projects using reclaimed materials, crafting memories from what we have. Last year, we transformed scrap wood from a local dump into a fantastic treehouse—a project that cost us nothing.
Resourcefulness in Hard Times
We may be broke, but we are also resourceful, constantly seeking innovative solutions to our challenges. Yet, we have yet to uncover that elusive money tree. Just like the elephant and the nickel, you have to have the resources before you can save.
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Conclusion
In summary, let’s stop shaming families for their financial situations. Not everyone has the luxury to save, and understanding that is key to fostering empathy in our communities.