I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. Some people feel destined to be here for a specific purpose, and for me, that purpose has always been motherhood. I’ve never aspired to any other profession; I never dreamed of climbing the corporate ladder or pursuing a career in medicine. My dreams have always revolved around changing diapers, preparing bottles, and creating art with my kids. Each day, I feel incredibly fortunate to have them in my life. However, there are days when I just don’t want to embrace the role of a mom, and that’s absolutely fine. It’s completely normal.
Like every mother, I have my moments. I’ve found myself in the bathroom, tears streaming down my face, shutting the door on a curious toddler because I was at my wit’s end. Sometimes, I’ve met my partner at the door with my car keys in hand, ready to escape the chaos. There have even been mornings when I’ve contemplated faking illness just to avoid the breakfast mess that would shortly follow. Motherhood is tough, and it’s not for the faint-hearted.
As I reached my forties, I found myself as a stay-at-home mom with four kids. While raising them was my greatest aspiration, I was unprepared for the constant emotional and physical demands. In my previous job, I could clock in and out, leaving work behind for hours or even days. But as a mom, the responsibility is unrelenting. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or working outside the home, you never truly escape the role. If your child is sick, you’re still the one who has to be there, and that can be exhausting.
Motherhood often means losing a part of yourself. You want to believe you remain the same person after having kids, but that’s simply not the case. The moment you look into your baby’s eyes, you transform from being self-centered to a being of unconditional love and sacrifice. Self-care and personal desires often get sidelined.
You aren’t a bad mom for needing a break. In fact, it’s quite common. Every mother hits a wall; it’s part of life. Sometimes, I find myself overwhelmed to the point where I can’t keep it together. I detest the moments when my kids’ behavior brings me to tears or when I’m so frazzled that I can’t even write a simple note. Yelling at your kids isn’t ideal, but it’s a normal reaction. Kids know how to push your buttons, and they’ll push them hard.
So what do you do when you don’t want to be a mom for a day? It’s perfectly acceptable to take a breather. That doesn’t mean you have to book a weekend getaway, which isn’t feasible for most of us. Sometimes, it just means allowing for a mental reset. If that means cereal for dinner, go for it. Maybe you need a long, uninterrupted shower. There’s nothing wrong with letting your kids watch TV for a bit. Occasionally, I’ll even stay in my pajamas for a day or two. If you don’t carve out some time for yourself, the situation only worsens.
A valuable tip I often remind myself is to take social media with a grain of salt. Even my posts can be misleading. I share adorable pictures of my family, but they often come from a series of attempts to capture one perfect moment. Trust me, I’m not alone in this. Family vacations often come with their share of squabbles and tears, and the first day of school may be filled with reluctance and reluctance to take photos. What you see online is merely a highlight reel.
Feeling overwhelmed by motherhood? That’s okay. Just ensure you return to it after your break. If you feel the need for professional help, don’t hesitate. Speaking with a counselor can provide perspective and coping strategies, even if they can’t fix the chaos at home. Keep pushing forward. Start each day anew and remember that you are doing your best. Your kids love you just the way you are, and they only desire your love, hugs, and support with their homework.
We can’t always be our best selves. There are times—days, weeks, maybe even months—when everything feels off. I’ve had moments where I seriously questioned my role as a mother. My kids aren’t perfect, and neither am I. There’s a lot of grace that needs to be extended to every family member, including yourself.