Some Days It Feels Unavoidably Challenging to Avoid Raising a Little Jerk

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As a mother of three, I’ve connected with many other moms, each bringing their own unique parenting approach to the table. Some are more traditional, while others embrace a laid-back style. While our practices vary—ranging from occasional swearing and drinking to a life of strict rules—we all share two fundamental beliefs: we want to raise kind, thoughtful kids, and we often struggle to do so.

We teach, we demonstrate, and we encourage better behaviors, only to find our children repeating the same missteps they were just reprimanded for. Kids are not programmed to be perfect; they are naturally drawn to what they desire, often with little regard for others. Every day, parents everywhere grapple with the challenge of steering their kids away from less-than-ideal behavior while facing various hurdles, such as:

  1. Exhaustion from Yesterday’s Triumphs:

    Just yesterday, I felt like a parenting rock star. I engaged fully, set aside my phone, baked cookies, and played games with my kids. But today? I’m utterly drained. So when I hear my son jokingly ask Alexa if she needs a bathroom break, I might just let it slide, opting instead to catch up on my friend’s dating adventures while enjoying a glass of wine. Let’s be real—I can’t be “on” all the time, and neither can you.

  2. Limited Oversight:

    Despite my claims of having “eyes in the back of my head,” the truth is, I can’t see everything. I wish I could catch every single instance of misbehavior, but that’s just not realistic. Interestingly, when other adults intervene, it often has a greater impact on my kids than when I address their behavior. So no, I’m not ignoring them in hopes someone else will step in, but let’s face it: sometimes, a fresh perspective can work wonders.

  3. Giving In for Simplicity:

    I’ll admit it: I’m not a perfect parent. Occasionally, I’ll buy that oversized stuffed animal or a huge ice cream cone just to keep the peace. Sure, it might not be what they deserve at that moment, but sometimes it’s about preserving sanity. We all have our coping mechanisms, even if they involve carting around a giant teddy bear while trying to grab groceries.

  4. Temptation Lurking Everywhere:

    Kids are naturally curious and easily influenced. If they see a friend acting up and getting attention, they may think, “Why not me?” They might steal a handful of candies or decide to play with your makeup, not considering the fallout. Temptations abound, and while we strive to teach self-control, it’s a tough lesson for them to learn.

  5. Operating While Sick:

    Trying to parent while under the weather is a recipe for chaos. Kids quickly realize they can get away with anything when you’re laid up on the couch. By the time you’re well enough to regain control, the moment for discipline has passed, and you’d rather treat them to a fun outing than focus on past misdeeds.

  6. Bad Days Happen:

    Just like adults, kids have their off days. There are moments when they feel frustrated and don’t know how to express it appropriately. While we can blow off a few tasks, kids don’t have that luxury in the classroom. If they could articulate their frustrations and promise to get back to their studies after some downtime, they’d face harsh judgment instead.

Every child has their moments of mischief, and every parent is doing their best to avoid raising a little jerk. So, the next time you see a child misbehaving, remember that their parents are likely doing all they can to teach them right from wrong. And let’s be grateful it’s not our little one causing the ruckus this time.

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Summary:

Parenting is a challenging journey filled with ups and downs. Despite our best efforts, even the most dedicated parents face obstacles that can lead to frustrating moments with their children. By acknowledging that every child has their moments, we can foster understanding and support within our parenting communities.